In some cultures, chldren are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The world of
children
is a fantasy, and sometimes those fictions become true. The world will consider that as an achievement, and the
children
who achieve will be named achievers. One of the essential
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
behind
this
accomplishment is encouragement.
However
, some kids think that it would be good to put their hard
work
and smart
work
into achieving something which is practically impossible in
this
current world, rather it is
miscerable
Correct your spelling
miserable
. So encouraging juveniles to
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
they can achieve anything with enough effort can have both positive and negative consequences.
Encouraging
Correct article usage
An encouraging
show examples
mindset will
inject
Verb problem
instil
show examples
self-confidence in
children
, motivating them to face challenges and resist themselves in the face of obstacles. It will cultivate the ability to bounce back from failures and set them to believe that success is in their hands. Juveniles will gain interest in hard
work
and learn how to persist in pursuing
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
, without being influenced by difficulties. More than that, they will understand that dedication is the key to enhancing their ability. Self-empowerment will make an impact on
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
well-being and mental health.
However
, sometimes encouragement creates impractical expectations in
children
. Not every goal may be achievable.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
some
occassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
, it will lead
children
to blame themselves for failure and make them think that they didn't succeed. If kids constantly aim for success , it will lead to stress and anxiety and they will attain a mindset to achieve
thei
Correct your spelling
their
the
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
at any cost. Individual effort will ignore the importance of collaboration, team support and other factors that contribute to success. In conclusion,
while
encouraging
children
to
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
in their ability to achieve through hard
work
can be advantageous,
however
,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
also
essential to balance
this
message with realism, adapt to
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
and acknowledgement of external factors that may influence outcomes.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Aim for clarity and precision in your essay. Avoid using complex sentences if they make your essay difficult to follow. Simple, clear sentences can effectively convey your ideas.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. Your essay would benefit greatly from the inclusion of real-life examples or more detailed explanations to reinforce your arguments.
General
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors. Proofreading your essay can improve the overall quality and readability. Consider using tools or seeking feedback to identify and correct these issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. This helps guide the reader through your essay.
Task Achievement
Balance the coverage of advantages and disadvantages in your essay. Ensure that each side is explored thoroughly, providing a more comprehensive discussion of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: