In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Although

Linking Words

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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made lots of

agriculture

Replace the word

agricultural

show examples

achievements nowadays,there are still numerous

people

Use synonyms

still suffer from

hungry

Replace the word

hunger

show examples

. There are many reasons why

this

Linking Words

situation will happen.but steps can definitely

be take

Change the verb form

be taken

be taking

show examples

to tackle

this

Linking Words

global problem. In my opinion, 3 main factors can cause

this

Linking Words

situation .

Firstly

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, the imbalance of wealth distribution, which

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

class polarization. The minority

people

Use synonyms

hold

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of wealth

while

Linking Words

the others suffer from poverty and starvation.

Second

Correct article usage

The second

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factors

Fix the agreement mistake

factor

show examples

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

to blame for

government

Use synonyms

. Apart

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

themselves,

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

also

Linking Words

has the

responsible

Replace the word

responsibility

show examples

for

citizen's

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens'

show examples

happiness or

give

Wrong verb form

giving

show examples

them

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fundamental social security so that they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

live better. But some

Use synonyms

government

Fix the agreement mistake

governments

show examples

failed to do that or have no recognition to do.

Finally

Linking Words

low

Correct article usage

the low

show examples

agricultural production rate

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

Change the article

show examples

significant factor to blame for, especially for developing

counties

Correct your spelling

countries

show examples

In these countries, their agricultural level are too low to feed all the

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

that's

Correct your spelling

that is

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why some

people

Use synonyms

are still

Verb problem

apply

show examples

hungry. But

Linking Words

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

problems could be

Wrong verb form

improved

show examples

improve

Wrong verb form

improved

show examples

. I believe that

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should take steps to tackle it.

For example

Linking Words

, publish some useful policy which can offer more Too opportunities to the poor so that they can feed themselves and get rid of starvation.

Furthermore

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

could

also

Linking Words

adjust the revenue.

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

way not only

government

Use synonyms

encourage more

people

Use synonyms

to devote themselves to agriculture, but

also

Linking Words

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

the

inbalance

Correct your spelling

imbalance

show examples

of wealth distribution. At the same time, the rich,

such

Linking Words

as businessmen or merchants,

also

Linking Words

have the social

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem. They need to donate some of their

financial

Replace the word

finances

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor areas

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or establish some charities to improve poor

person’s

Fix the agreement mistake

people’s

show examples

living

standard

Fix the agreement mistake

standards

show examples

. In conclusion, the poor will continue to suffer from starvation unless the

government

Use synonyms

, the rich and other relevant

people

Use synonyms

cooperate to cope with

this

Linking Words

problem.

fiasngsFri Feb 16 2024

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structure

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should paraphrase the question and present your opinion or the direction of your essay. The body paragraphs should each focus on a single main idea supported by examples or explanations. The conclusion should summarise your points or restate your position.

cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, for example) appropriately to help the reader understand the relationships between your ideas. Avoid overusing any single cohesive device.

content

Work on developing your main points more thoroughly by providing more detailed examples or deeper explanations. This will help to fully address the question and enhance the quality of your argument.

language

Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and informal language. Aim to use a more formal tone and accurate grammatical structures to improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inequality
distribution
access to resources
climate change
natural disasters
political factors
economic factors
agricultural practices
infrastructure
transportation
population growth
education
knowledge
food waste

What to do next:

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Your opinion

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometimes starting from the age of five or six, right up until the age of 18. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making children do exam ?

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the environmental impacts of air transport outweigh its benefits in food importation. To what extent do you agree? Provide reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.