In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case

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Although

Linking Words

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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made lots of

agriculture

Replace the word

agricultural

show examples

achievements nowadays,there are still numerous

people

Use synonyms

still suffer from

hungry

Replace the word

hunger

show examples

. There are many reasons why

this

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situation will happen.but steps can definitely

be take

Change the verb form

be taken

be taking

show examples

to tackle

this

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global problem. In my opinion, 3 main factors can cause

this

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situation .

Firstly

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, the imbalance of wealth distribution, which

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

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class polarization. The minority

people

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hold

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of wealth

while

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the others suffer from poverty and starvation.

Second

Correct article usage

The second

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factors

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factor

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were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

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to blame for

government

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. Apart

for

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from

show examples

citizen

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citizens

show examples

themselves,

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

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also

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has the

responsible

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responsibility

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for

citizen's

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citizens'

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happiness or

give

Wrong verb form

giving

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them

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fundamental social security so that they

could

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can

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live better. But some

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government

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governments

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failed to do that or have no recognition to do.

Finally

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low

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the low

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agricultural production rate

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also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

Change the article

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significant factor to blame for, especially for developing

counties

Correct your spelling

countries

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In these countries, their agricultural level are too low to feed all the

citizen

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citizens

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that's

Correct your spelling

that is

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why some

people

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are still

Verb problem

apply

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hungry. But

Linking Words

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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problems could be

Wrong verb form

improved

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improve

Wrong verb form

improved

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. I believe that

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should take steps to tackle it.

For example

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, publish some useful policy which can offer more Too opportunities to the poor so that they can feed themselves and get rid of starvation.

Furthermore

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Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

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could

also

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adjust the revenue.

Change preposition

show examples

this

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way not only

government

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encourage more

people

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to devote themselves to agriculture, but

also

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improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

the

inbalance

Correct your spelling

imbalance

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of wealth distribution. At the same time, the rich,

such

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as businessmen or merchants,

also

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have the social

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

to tackle

this

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problem. They need to donate some of their

financial

Replace the word

finances

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor areas

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or establish some charities to improve poor

person’s

Fix the agreement mistake

people’s

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living

standard

Fix the agreement mistake

standards

show examples

. In conclusion, the poor will continue to suffer from starvation unless the

government

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, the rich and other relevant

people

Use synonyms

cooperate to cope with

this

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problem.

Submitted by fiasngs on Fri Feb 16 2024

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structure

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should paraphrase the question and present your opinion or the direction of your essay. The body paragraphs should each focus on a single main idea supported by examples or explanations. The conclusion should summarise your points or restate your position.

cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, for example) appropriately to help the reader understand the relationships between your ideas. Avoid overusing any single cohesive device.

content

Work on developing your main points more thoroughly by providing more detailed examples or deeper explanations. This will help to fully address the question and enhance the quality of your argument.

language

Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and informal language. Aim to use a more formal tone and accurate grammatical structures to improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inequality
distribution
access to resources
climate change
natural disasters
political factors
economic factors
agricultural practices
infrastructure
transportation
population growth
education
knowledge
food waste

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Your opinion

It is often suggested that schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think that advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture. We can learn as much as from books, films and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?