IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these viewsand give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations #viewsand
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Opinions are divided as to whether people should accept an unpleasant
situation
Use synonyms
 or make progress to change their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In my eyes individuals should do anything to make themselves happy.
Some times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
life
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 is not
as well as
Linking Words
 humans expect, there may
be exist
Change the verb form
exist
show examples
 some troubles or conflicts in
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 or for many reasons a person does not like to continue the
job
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.
Also
Linking Words
, money
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a vital role in everyone's
life
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 and if there does not exist enough money to spend, anyone can get into trouble.
While
Linking Words
 some
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 believe that, there is no need to change these situations, these unsatisfactories can be harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mental health and
on the other hand
Linking Words
 it has consequences
such
Linking Words
 as
wnwanted
Correct your spelling
wanted
situation
Use synonyms
 always
remain
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is
beleived
Correct your spelling
believed
 by some people that trying
for changing
Change preposition
to change
show examples
 hard situations is a reasonable choice. There are several ways that help to enhance the quality of
life
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, when a person
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to curb intrusive events, a better
life
Use synonyms
 and future comes to him or her and it is noticeable that working hard for aims and goals
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them self-confidence.
for example
Linking Words
 when a person who is always complaining about her or his
job
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do
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not accustomed to that bad
situation
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 and
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to find a new
job
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 or work in a new office can turn the bad circumstance
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a pleasant
situation
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,
also
Linking Words
 it helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her or his self-actialisation. in conclusion, all humans should tackle their problems and
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
imposed
Change the verb form
impose
show examples
Correct article usage
a
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bad
life
Use synonyms
, always trying
for earning
Change preposition
to earn
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better quality of
life
Use synonyms
 is more acceptable.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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Structure
Ensure you have a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your standpoint. Your conclusion should summarise the key points discussed and reiterate your opinion clearly.
Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases effectively to improve the flow of your essay. This includes connectors for contrasting viewpoints, listing information, and introducing examples.
Specific Examples
Expand on your examples with specific details to strengthen your argument. Rather than general statements, use concrete instances or hypothetical scenarios that clearly illustrate your points.
Grammar and Accuracy
Be mindful of grammatical errors and strive for accuracy in your writing. Regular practice and feedback can help improve grammar and vocabulary use.
Balanced Discussion
Present both sides of the argument fairly before giving your own opinion. Make sure that your opinion is clear and well-supported with reasons and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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