Some people believe computer and mobile phone technology has changed the way we communicate positively while others feel it has had a negative impact on communication with others. discuss both views.

#people #computer #phone #technology #impact #communication

Some

people

believe that computer and mobile phone

technology

has changed the way we communicate positively

while

others

feel it has hurt communication with

others

. In

this

essay, I will be giving my opinion and discussing both views. Some argue that

technology

has harmed communication with

others

. One reason is that the conversation online has no warmth,

people

would not know the attitude they have on the internet.

People

will feel distant

while

chatting online because the message is cold and no feelings, so it is a big deal that

people

chat on the internet

instead

of face-to-face. The second reason is that communicating through the phone will cause

people

to misunderstand.

People

will misunderstand the message or receive the fake information

others

send because they don't know what

others

are actually saying.

Third,

people

cannot continue the conversation if one does not reply.

However

, I believe that

technology

has changed the way we communicate positively.

First,

communicating online is more convenient. Some

people

cannot meet or hang out because of long distances, so communicating on mobile phones can decrease the distance between

people

Second,

communicating through

technology

can receive messages faster.

For instance

, if

people

want to say something important or emergency they can tell by the call

instead

of meeting. In conclusion,

although

some

people

think that computer and mobile phone

technology

has changed the way we communicate negatively, I still think communicating through

technology

is positive.

Submitted by vickychen941008 on Fri Feb 16 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both views equally and providing a clear opinion. Your essay tends to lean more towards one viewpoint, which may not fully satisfy the task requirement.

Task Achievement

Integrate more specific examples to support your arguments. Both for and against perspectives can be strengthened by adding more detailed illustrations from real life or credible sources.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on creating more logical transitions between paragraphs and within them to improve the flow of your essay. Use a variety of transitional phrases to better link your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Experiment with more complex sentence structures to enhance the depth and clarity of your argument. Avoid overly simple sentences which can limit the expressiveness of your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe computer and mobile phone technology has changed the way we communicate positively while others feel it has had a negative impact on communication with others. discuss both views.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs.

Many University graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profesion. What factor may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion should be done about it?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this . You should write at least 250 words.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?