Some people believe computer and mobile phone technology has changed the way we communicate positively while others feel it has had a negative impact on communication with others. discuss both views.

#people #computer #phone #technology #impact #communication

Some

people

believe that computer and mobile phone

technology

has changed the way we communicate positively

while

others

feel it has hurt communication with

others

. In

this

essay, I will be giving my opinion and discussing both views. Some argue that

technology

has harmed communication with

others

. One reason is that the conversation online has no warmth,

people

would not know the attitude they have on the internet.

People

will feel distant

while

chatting online because the message is cold and no feelings, so it is a big deal that

people

chat on the internet

instead

of face-to-face. The second reason is that communicating through the phone will cause

people

to misunderstand.

People

will misunderstand the message or receive the fake information

others

send because they don't know what

others

are actually saying.

Third,

people

cannot continue the conversation if one does not reply.

However

, I believe that

technology

has changed the way we communicate positively.

First,

communicating online is more convenient. Some

people

cannot meet or hang out because of long distances, so communicating on mobile phones can decrease the distance between

people

Second,

communicating through

technology

can receive messages faster.

For instance

, if

people

want to say something important or emergency they can tell by the call

instead

of meeting. In conclusion,

although

some

people

think that computer and mobile phone

technology

has changed the way we communicate negatively, I still think communicating through

technology

is positive.

Submitted by vickychen941008 on Fri Feb 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Make sure to fully address the prompt by discussing both views equally and providing a clear opinion. Your essay tends to lean more towards one viewpoint, which may not fully satisfy the task requirement.

Task Achievement

Integrate more specific examples to support your arguments. Both for and against perspectives can be strengthened by adding more detailed illustrations from real life or credible sources.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on creating more logical transitions between paragraphs and within them to improve the flow of your essay. Use a variety of transitional phrases to better link your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Experiment with more complex sentence structures to enhance the depth and clarity of your argument. Avoid overly simple sentences which can limit the expressiveness of your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
We are living in a world where the incredible development of technology helps us to connect with others easily. With the help of the internet and mobile phones, anyone can connect with others from any place around the world. In my opinion, these advancements have always been a great achievement even though there are some demerits.
5.5
band
“Everybody should be allowed admission to university or college programmes regardless of their level of academic ability”. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
There is no doubt that admission to a higher education is more competitive than it was back in the day. It is argued that people should have the same opportunity to apply for a university or college without considering their level of academic knowledge. Although I agree that everyone should be allowed to submit their application, academic ability should always be considered in the application.
6.5
band
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many are of the view that ex-convicts get transformed into good people in society, and it is usually suggested that such individuals are the ideal ones to educate young adults on the negative effects of being involved in illegal activity. I totally disagree with the statement because teenagers may not listen to a prisoner's idea and also other adults like teachers, parents, and the police should rather talk to teenagers.
6
band
To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not only unhealthy but affect nature too. Do you agree or disagree about this?
In recent years, genetic engineering has emerged as a new area of focus. There has been a popularly held belief that it is an innovation and should be widely applied by nation states globally to satisfy the increasing food demands as a result of the rise of the population; however, from my viewpoint, I am strongly opposed to the given idea in view of the following reasons.
<4
band
People think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace, other things that the true function of the university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake regardless of whether the curse is useful to an employee. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of the university.
The diagram illustrates the monthly expenditure of an Australian family between 1991 and 2001, which was mainly spent on 6 different heads.

Some people believe computer and mobile phone technology has changed the way we communicate positively while others feel it has had a negative impact on communication with others. discuss both views.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days, cell (mobile) phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

“Everybody should be allowed admission to university or college programmes regardless of their level of academic ability”. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not only unhealthy but affect nature too. Do you agree or disagree about this?