IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using mobile phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shops #cash #payments #card #phones
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In the future people will not be able to pay for goods in cash
instead
 all the payments will be made by card or any sort of digital device. Revolution is arising in every field. Digital systems are getting more common day by day because of their accuracy and precision. By paying for goods with a card or mobile phone companies/governments can have a record of our transactions for a long period of time. Some countries had already started using/taking cards or mobile phone payments. So, we can say that the time will come when all the payments will happen digitally. Some people might not be happy to give up using cash perhaps because of bribery.
Submitted by Haris Khan on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on providing a clearer structure to your essay by ensuring there is a distinct introduction, development of ideas, and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly address the topic and your conclusion should summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to immediately clarify the main point you're discussing. This will enhance the overall cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
To fully address the task, ensure you answer all parts of the question. In this case, more development of why some people might not be happy to give up using cash, beyond just mentioning bribery, would provide a more complete response.
task achievement
Incorporate specific, relevant examples or scenarios to support your points. This could include statistics, studies, or hypothetical situations that demonstrate the impact of moving away from cash payments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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