“The only way to improve road safety is to have stricter punishments for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

It is stated that applying stricter fines and penalties is the only solution to secure safety on the road. It is the writer’s
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
that it is not the sole option as more efficacious solutions are available to minimize the hidden dangers for participants. It is crucial to comprehend that reckless driving is not only an attribute to increasing fatalities and danger on
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
as
Correct word choice
but
show examples
it
also
depends on the quality of the streets and highways. In crowded zones, streets are damaged detrimentally
rapid
Change the word
rapidly
show examples
as a high frequency of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
occurs for a long period,
therefore
, increasing accident risk, congestion and black spots
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
by dint of wide holes and permanent marks made of
this
bad phenomenon.
Thus
, it is advisable for governments and local councils to raise more funding for transport infrastructure. Another basic point to mention is outdated Highway
Code
Fix the agreement mistake
Codes
show examples
and other
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
policies. With the
appearances
Fix the agreement mistake
appearance
show examples
of new vehicle models and the changing traffic trends, many accidents occurred for the reason that old rules and regulations are no longer to operate properly
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
time.
Therefore
, it is of the utmost importance that government and local councils should
also
update the Highway Code to suit with latest states and situations. Having enumerated the given reasons, it is undeniable that
leaving
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stricter bans and fines have been playing one of the most important roles in keeping the status stable as reckless driving, speeding,
drunk
Correct word choice
and drunk
show examples
driving are
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most popular causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
accidents. Putting stricter punishments is essential for violators to change their attitudes and behaviours positively to help traffic flow safer.
However
, it is not effective enough to solve all problems
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
accident risk and
casualities
Correct your spelling
casualties
as accidents come from numerous causes
as
Correct word choice
which
show examples
can be listed as poor street states, illogical traffic light
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
Therefore
,
enforce
Wrong verb form
enforcing
show examples
various solutions simultaneously in order to prevent it in all aspects can give the best result. In conclusion, more options
such
as improving streets, transport infrastructure and
update
Wrong verb form
updating
show examples
the Highway Code are recommended to
co-operate
Correct your spelling
cooperate
show examples
with
punish
Change the verb form
punishing
show examples
street violators.
Therefore
, putting stricter penalties is not the only solution to prevent
this
detrimental problem.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To strengthen task achievement, ensure not only to address the prompt fully but also to exemplify each point with specific, vivid examples. This could involve citing data, real-world cases, or hypothetical scenarios that vividly illustrate the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibited a fairly strong logical structure. To enhance coherence and cohesion further, focus on tighter linking between ideas and paragraphs. Utilize a range of cohesive devices beyond just connectors, such as pronoun referencing, synonyms, and theme repetition.
coherence cohesion
While your essay's introduction and conclusion are present and generally effective, refining these sections to clearly present your thesis and summarize your main points with impactful language could further strengthen your essay. Aim for a more compelling hook in your introduction and a memorable closing statement in your conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: