Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is argued that the harmony of

music

can provide synchrony to the public in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

spite of cultural diversity and age gaps.

This

essay completely agrees with

this

statement because certain rhythms have universal meanings and

also

national indie

music

has been the source of public awakening and pleading many times throughout history. There

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

that people of all cultures have heard and embraced on many celebratory occasions. These rhythms

that's

Unnecessary verb

that

show examples

everyone and their grandparents have hummed to themselves many times, act as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

universal symbols that

posses

Correct your spelling

possess

show examples

particular meanings.

For instance

, the Happy Birthday song simultaneously and unintentionally comes to mind whenever a birthday candle is lit. At times of these

phenomenon's

Change noun form

phenomenon

show examples

old people sing and think of the same representative unconsciously. The national aspect of

music

on public reaction and composition is evident based on historical scenarios. The governments or even political opponents have used anthems as an asset to evoke public reactions.

Furthermore

, military parades pose as synchronized illustrators of a nation's unity. Another example is the national anthem

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

had to have been carefully chosen to demonstrate meaningful slogans and future hopes. In conclusion, I believe that

music

can pose as a great asset in developing unity within

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

, nationally or internationally, expanding the barriers of cultures, traditions or even age. The reasons for the support are the songs

that's

Unnecessary verb

that

show examples

play as Global symbols of certain occasions and the songs within a country that have proved their political prominence throughout history.

Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on Sat Feb 17 2024

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Ensure that your introduction briefly outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. While you have a clear thesis statement, adding a preview of your arguments can enhance clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Focus on developing a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph that directly states the main idea. This will help readers understand your key points right away.

coherence and cohesion

Try to incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This can improve the flow of your essay and make your argument more persuasive.

task achievement

Consider adding more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. This can include statistical data, historical events, or personal anecdotes to make your points more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goals?

Some people think that it is good for a country's cultures to show imported foreign films and TV programs. Other people think that a country should develop their own films and TV programs instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.