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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of hours per day on average that children spent watching television between 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates information about the screen
hours
Use synonyms
 of children watching television per day between 1950 and 2010.
Overall
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,
It is clear that
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although
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 the screen
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1950 were fewer than one, they were much higher after 1980 until 2010. Looking more closely at the data, in 1950, the
hours
Use synonyms
 of children watching television were 0.3.
However
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, there was a slight increase to 0.3
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1960 before the level rocketed to 4
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1980.
Additionally
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, there was a steady fluctuation between 3.8
hours
Use synonyms
 and 4.1
hours
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and 2000.
Lastly
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, from
then
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 on, the
hours
Use synonyms
 of children watching television was a minimal decrease to 3.5
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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