Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?
Numerous individuals hold the opinion that some
school
leavers have a tendency to seek employment or travel instead
of going straight to college. I am firmly of the opinion that its strengths are weightier than its shortcomings.
One
the Correct your spelling
On
one
hand, one
of the merits is that it could allow individuals to gain practical work experience. Joining the workforce after graduation enhances their skills and makes them more competitive in the job market. Additionally
, the gap year of today now has a decidedly positive impact on people’s independence, thanks to it, they can increase their independence. A clear example of it
is that during a period of gap Correct pronoun usage
this
year
they have the combination of work experience, solo travel, personal projects, financial responsibility, decision-making, communicating, and Add a comma
year,
time-management
relatively. Thereby its strong points, Correct your spelling
time
traveling
or working after graduation could be an optimal choice for each Change the spelling
travelling
school
leavers.
Conversely
, there are some cons to school
leavers. One
such
disadvantage is delaying academic education, which mainly results from taking a period of time off before college. In the
point of fact, there is a possibility of missing out on opportunities that may have been available immediately after high Correct article usage
apply
school
or college. Admittedly, gap
year brings them a huge backlog of pros, it can Correct article usage
a gap
also
be a burden for them when transitioning back to university.
In a nutshell, I completely agree that the merits outweigh the demerits because opting for employment or traveling
could provide them Change the spelling
travelling
work
experience and shape them into more self-reliant and resourceful individuals. Change preposition
with work
Nevertheless
, it can also
lead to time-wasting and missing a backlog of opportunities, thus
I recommend that depending on each individual’s situation they could opt for suitable personal growth.Submitted by ngocthuykatie on
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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction directly addresses the question, whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your thesis statement could be clearer in stating your position.
task achievement
A more balanced structure could enhance your essay. Consider dedicating an equal amount of discussion to both advantages and disadvantages before concluding. This will create a more nuanced argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetition and create a more engaging argument. Employing a range of complex sentence forms can make your writing more sophisticated.
task achievement
It's crucial to ensure that your examples are directly relevant and clearly support your main points. While your essay includes examples, they can be more specific and tied closely to the argument you are making.
advice
Carefully proofread your essay to fix minor grammatical errors and improve the overall readability.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence by using linking phrases more effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will aid in creating a smoother flow of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.