YOU WORK FOR AN INTERNATIONAL COMAPNY, AND WOULD LIKE TO SPEND SIX MONTH WORKINGIN ITS HEAD OFFICE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. WROTE A LETTER TO YOUR MANAGER. IN YOUR LETTER EXPLAIN WHY YOU WANT TO WORK IN THE COMAPNY'S HEAD OFFICE FOE SIX MONTHS, SAY HOW YOUR WORK COULD BE DONE WHILE YOU ARE AWAY, ASK FOR HIS/HER HELP IN ARRANGING IT.

Nowadays There is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
are, There are many
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
and
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
some
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
are very
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
and
Their
Replace the word
There
show examples
are not going to
any
Add a missing verb
be any
show examples
children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
some particular
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
like evening and night. But some
perants
Correct your spelling
parents
are allowed their
teengers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
because their grandfather and childcare are going
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
. In
this
essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss some bad sre as and give my opinion below paragraph. One of the
buring
Correct your spelling
burning
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
of
Change noun form
today's
show examples
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
world,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
are many
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
develped
Correct your spelling
developed
and live their
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
lifestyle person. Their children are very open
mainded
Correct your spelling
minded
and
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
always
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
life. Some
city's
Change noun form
cities
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
are very crisis and their family do not
going to
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
outside
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
some time. As a reason, Few
country's
Unnecessary verb
country
show examples
like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Surat
city
Dumas Road.Bhangarh fort. Rajasthan and many more.
As a result
, Surat
city
dumes Roud is
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
very
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
night
Add an article
the night
show examples
. On the other side of
Correct article usage
the coins
show examples
coins
Fix the agreement mistake
coin
show examples
, There are many
Internationl
Correct your spelling
international
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities that
show examples
ares
Correct your spelling
are
risky to
youngstars
Correct your spelling
youngsters
young stars
. Because their areas live and eating Junk food and drink
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of daily to daily
also
Their consumes drugs in daily life. That the
resaon
Correct your spelling
reason
US and many other
city
's Road are not safe for
badychild
Correct your spelling
bad child
baby child
. And Their streets
are lock
Change the verb form
are locked
show examples
some time
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
. For explain,
Theirt
Correct your spelling
there
are many
city's
Change noun form
cities that
show examples
sells
Correct subject-verb agreement
sell
show examples
narcotics like smoking, drugs, and many
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Hence
, The
kensigtos
Correct your spelling
Kensington
area of
philadelphia
Change the capitalization
Philadelphia
show examples
, PH is nicknamed "Zombie
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
". Because their
city
's people
addicts
Add a missing verb
are addicts
show examples
drugs
Change preposition
to drugs
show examples
and other
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
.
For
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion, In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
some parents and
fimely
Correct your spelling
family
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
right and they do not
going
Change the verb form
go
show examples
their
bady's
Correct your spelling
body's
baby's
in rights and evening.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
The letter needs to follow a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Start with a greeting to the manager and end with a closing statement.
task response
Focus on directly answering the task's prompt by explaining why you wish to work at the head office, how your work will be managed during your absence, and requesting your manager's assistance.
coherence
Improve coherence by connecting your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single aspect of your request (reasons for wanting to move, management of your duties, seeking help).
cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas for better readability. Currently, the ideas are mixed together, making it difficult to follow.
language proficiency
Revise the letter for grammatical accuracy and appropriate use of vocabulary. Also, ensure that the tone is suitable for a professional request to a manager.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!