YOU WORK FOR AN INTERNATIONAL COMAPNY, AND WOULD LIKE TO SPEND SIX MONTH WORKINGIN ITS HEAD OFFICE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. WROTE A LETTER TO YOUR MANAGER. IN YOUR LETTER EXPLAIN WHY YOU WANT TO WORK IN THE COMAPNY'S HEAD OFFICE FOE SIX MONTHS, SAY HOW YOUR WORK COULD BE DONE WHILE YOU ARE AWAY, ASK FOR HIS/HER HELP IN ARRANGING IT.

#work #comapny #six #month #workingin #head #office #country #manager #foe #months

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Nowadays There is

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moden

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modern

are, There are many

city

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cities

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and

country

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countries

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some

area

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areas

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are very

danger

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dangerous

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and

Their

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There

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are not going to

any

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be any

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children

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some particular

time

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times

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like evening and night. But some

perants

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parents

are allowed their

teengers

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teenagers

because their grandfather and childcare are going

their

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there

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. In

this

essay

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will discuss some bad sre as and give my opinion below paragraph. One of the

buring

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burning

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issues

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issue

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issues

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today's

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todays

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world,

There

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there

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are many

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cities

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city

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cities

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develped

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developed

and live their

moden

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modern

lifestyle person. Their children are very open

mainded

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minded

and

their

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they're

they are

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always

lives

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live

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apply

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moden

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modern

life. Some

city's

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cities

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area

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areas

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are very crisis and their family do not

going to

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outside

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for

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some time. As a reason, Few

country's

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country

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apply

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Surat

city

Dumas Road.Bhangarh fort. Rajasthan and many more.

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, Surat

city

dumes Roud is

their

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apply

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very

danger

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night

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. On the other side of

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the coins

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coins

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, There are many

Internationl

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international

city

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cities that

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ares

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are

risky to

youngstars

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youngsters

young stars

. Because their areas live and eating Junk food and drink

alot

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a lot

of daily to daily

also

Their consumes drugs in daily life. That the

resaon

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reason

US and many other

city

's Road are not safe for

badychild

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bad child

baby child

. And Their streets

are lock

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some time

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. For explain,

Theirt

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there

are many

city's

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sells

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sell

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narcotics like smoking, drugs, and many

other

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others

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Hence

, The

kensigtos

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Kensington

area of

philadelphia

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, PH is nicknamed "Zombie

city

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". Because their

city

's people

addicts

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drugs

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and other

covid-19

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For

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conclusion, In my

opinion

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some parents and

fimely

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family

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right and they do not

going

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their

bady's

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body's

baby's

in rights and evening.

Submitted by Rachna Academy on Sat Feb 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

The letter needs to follow a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Start with a greeting to the manager and end with a closing statement.

task response

Focus on directly answering the task's prompt by explaining why you wish to work at the head office, how your work will be managed during your absence, and requesting your manager's assistance.

coherence

Improve coherence by connecting your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should focus on a single aspect of your request (reasons for wanting to move, management of your duties, seeking help).

cohesion

Use paragraphs to separate different ideas for better readability. Currently, the ideas are mixed together, making it difficult to follow.

language proficiency

Revise the letter for grammatical accuracy and appropriate use of vocabulary. Also, ensure that the tone is suitable for a professional request to a manager.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
67
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

256 words

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The Greeting

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.

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