The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The information about the ratio of
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
generation who took part in various
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
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area is illustrated by a given bar chart in the period of 20 years. The data is
callibrated
Correct your spelling
calibrated
in numbers.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is evident from the graph that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
was seen in gentle walking,
whereas
Linking Words
the least was observed in basketball. Expounding the chart in detail, a slight discrepancy was noticed in the gentle walking activity from 1997 to 2007 which was 50 thousand and approximately 55 thousand, correspondingly.
Further
Linking Words
analysis reveals that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the number of youth who participated in basketball steadily inclined from 9,000 to 23,000 during 20 years,
however
Linking Words
, there was sharp decline was apparent in the number of youngsters who played cricket in 1997 and 2007, the former one was almost 27,000 and the latter was 8000. Moving ahead, a negligible difference was observed in jogging activity which was around 1000. As
further
Linking Words
scrutiny reveals, the number of teenagers who joined
Correct article usage
the gym
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gym
Correct article usage
the gym
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remained constant between 1997 and 2007
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
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at almost 35,000. Probing ahead, a significant increment could be seen in the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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of younger people who played football from 1997 to 2007 which was 32,000 and 49,000
respondingly
Correct your spelling
responding
correspondingly
.
Hence
Linking Words
forward, the participation in hiking had
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
by 20,000 by 2007.
Submitted by real.nawa on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • adult demographic
  • comparison
  • percent change
  • significant increase/decrease
  • trend analysis
  • sports popularity
  • ranking changes
  • general patterns
  • social factors
  • 20-year period
  • time span
  • major sports
  • data interpretation
  • highlight features
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