Nowadays, advertising becomes increasingly popular in the markets. The firms are using various forms of adverts to popularize the novelty of their products to the public in order to make more profit.

#markets #firms #forms #adverts #novelty #products #profit

Nowadays, advertising

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

increasingly popular in the markets. The firms are using various forms of adverts to popularize the novelty of their products to the public in order to make more profit. I suppose

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

a negative development which may harm the welfare of the

consumers

. Emphasizing the creative designs of the products can help the firms to attract more

consumers

. These advertisements can clearly and exaggeratedly show the advantages of these new goods to the buyers who may highly appeal to the effect shown

Change preposition

show examples

the advert and

willing

Add a missing verb

be willing

show examples

to pay

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

price

to buy

this

improved product.

For example

, some smartphone producers usually underline the speciality of their new design,

such

as the

color

Change the spelling

colour

show examples

of the outer shell, in order to make some customers willing to pay

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

for the fascinating look.

This

means the producers could generate higher

profit

Fix the agreement mistake

profits

show examples

through advertisements.

However

, advertising may sometimes affect the interest of

consumers

This

happens when the improvements on the good

Change the verb form

are

show examples

inconsequential which makes the customers find that the advantages stressed by the advertising

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not significant to the function of the product. In

this

way, the

consumers

would lose their benefits after they had paid

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

price

for the good and realized their choice is irrational.

As a result

, the advertising sometimes

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

the customers to make rational decisions during shopping and lose their interest

due to

the information gap. In conclusion, businesses usually aim to charge a higher

price

Change preposition

for

show examples

their products

through

Change preposition

show examples

emphasizing

their

Change the word

the

show examples

commodities sold are new in some way. But

this

sometimes misleads the

consumers

to do irrational purchasing and lose their benefits.

Submitted by 27475868 on Sat Feb 17 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion Improvement

Ensure your introduction presents a clear overview of the topic, and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoints, reinforcing the stance you've taken.

Thesis Statement Enhancement

Work on developing a stronger thesis statement in your introduction to clearly outline the points you'll discuss.

Paragraph Structure

Improve the organization of your essay by planning paragraphs around one main idea each and using clear topic sentences to introduce these ideas.

Use of Linking Words

Increase the use of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making your argument more coherent.

Strengthening Examples

Provide more detailed, specific examples to support your arguments. While some examples are provided, adding depth and details can strengthen your points.

Balanced Argument

Try to cover all aspects of the task more comprehensively, addressing not only the negative but also the potential positive aspects of advertising to give a more balanced viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, advertising becomes increasingly popular in the markets. The firms are using various forms of adverts to popularize the novelty of their products to the public in order to make more profit.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that governments are responsible for dealing with environmental issues. other people believe that it is the individual's responsibility to take action to protect the environment.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+