Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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A group of individuals consider
athletes
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to
a
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be a
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positive example for the youth
while
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other
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others
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claim that their
behavior
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behaviour
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can lead to negative effects be it on the
filed
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field
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or not.
While
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the
pints
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points
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by the latter group may have some truth to them, I believe the
people
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in sports have a stronger beneficial influence
in
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on
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the younger generation. On the one hand, some
people
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say that the
athletes
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serve as a bad role model for the growing generation.
This
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is mainly because of the fact that some of the
sports-men
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sportsmen
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/women can be involved in problematic situations
such
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as
use
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the use
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of illegal drugs, intoxicants and violence which could be detrimental for the young
people
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who look up to them. Since the
athletes
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usually have a huge following on social media,
this
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poses a risk of normalizing
such
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actions for a majority of the growing population.
Thus
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,
although
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in some cases members of the sports world could
show case
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showcase
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a good example, in the long
run
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run,
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and bigger scale, it stands as something negative.
On the contrary
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,
majority
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the majority
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of
people
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favor the
athletes
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saying that they serve as
inspiration
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an inspiration
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to
the
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apply
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younger
people
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. They state that they mostly appear as the symbol of hard work, discipline, staying active,
chasing
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and chasing
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your dreams against all odds which is necessary to keep the youth motivated and focused on their goals. As for the scandals that may occur surrounding the
athletes
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, they propose that parents should teach their kids to pick up the positives as negativity is inevitable and exists in every field of life.
In addition
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, the growing generation
have
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has
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the opportunity to potentially be noticed by their favorite athlete nowadays on social media platforms which could be
the
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a
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life changing
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life-changing
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step for them. It is obvious that the presence of
athletes
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in the life of youth
have
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has
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a wide range of benefits.
To conclude
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,
although
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young
people
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could be influenced badly by
athletes
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in some categories, I would say that the role of
athletes
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of
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in
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young individuals has far more benefits.
Submitted by muhammadrizoabduxalimov017 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each point made is well-supported by specific, detailed examples. While the essay discusses the influence of athletes both positively and negatively, incorporating more concrete examples of athletes' behavior and its impact on youth could make the points more compelling and complete.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices and transition phrases between ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and help to clarify the relationships between your main points.
General
Review and refine your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance clarity and professionalism. Attention to detail in written expression can significantly influence the overall impression of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • determination
  • discipline
  • work ethic
  • community service
  • charitable activities
  • poor behavior
  • unsportsmanlike conduct
  • media scrutiny
  • public perception
  • materialism
  • physical and mental health issues
  • impressionable youth
  • high levels
  • pursuing sports
  • positive influence
  • negative influence
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