Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

A group of individuals consider
athletes
to
a
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be a
show examples
positive example for the youth
while
other
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others
show examples
claim that their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
can lead to negative effects be it on the
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
or not.
While
the
pints
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points
show examples
by the latter group may have some truth to them, I believe the
people
in sports have a stronger beneficial influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the younger generation. On the one hand, some
people
say that the
athletes
serve as a bad role model for the growing generation.
This
is mainly because of the fact that some of the
sports-men
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
show examples
/women can be involved in problematic situations
such
as
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
of illegal drugs, intoxicants and violence which could be detrimental for the young
people
who look up to them. Since the
athletes
usually have a huge following on social media,
this
poses a risk of normalizing
such
actions for a majority of the growing population.
Thus
,
although
in some cases members of the sports world could
show case
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showcase
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a good example, in the long
run
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run,
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and bigger scale, it stands as something negative.
On the contrary
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
favor the
athletes
saying that they serve as
inspiration
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an inspiration
show examples
to
the
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apply
show examples
younger
people
. They state that they mostly appear as the symbol of hard work, discipline, staying active,
chasing
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and chasing
show examples
your dreams against all odds which is necessary to keep the youth motivated and focused on their goals. As for the scandals that may occur surrounding the
athletes
, they propose that parents should teach their kids to pick up the positives as negativity is inevitable and exists in every field of life.
In addition
, the growing generation
have
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has
show examples
the opportunity to potentially be noticed by their favorite athlete nowadays on social media platforms which could be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
life changing
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life-changing
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step for them. It is obvious that the presence of
athletes
in the life of youth
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a wide range of benefits.
To conclude
,
although
young
people
could be influenced badly by
athletes
in some categories, I would say that the role of
athletes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
young individuals has far more benefits.
Submitted by muhammadrizoabduxalimov017 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each point made is well-supported by specific, detailed examples. While the essay discusses the influence of athletes both positively and negatively, incorporating more concrete examples of athletes' behavior and its impact on youth could make the points more compelling and complete.
Coherence & Cohesion
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General
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • determination
  • discipline
  • work ethic
  • community service
  • charitable activities
  • poor behavior
  • unsportsmanlike conduct
  • media scrutiny
  • public perception
  • materialism
  • physical and mental health issues
  • impressionable youth
  • high levels
  • pursuing sports
  • positive influence
  • negative influence
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