IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
sports
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facilities
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 are crucial in training for all people in general, including athletes.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that constructing specialised places to train talented players is significantly important to
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
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 international
sports
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, there is
also
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 an argument that building public
sports
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facilities
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 would be much better.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 topic from both perspectives and express my opinion. On one hand, governments seek to thrive by pursuing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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development in many life's aspects including international
sports
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 competitions.
In other words
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, one of the most popular ways to be a developed country is to be conscious of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international
sports
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 and the importance of engaging
these
Change preposition
in these
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 matches.
In addition
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, to compete in the global
sport
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sports
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 games, each country should invest in training their best athletes.
For example
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, all the countries around the world are keen to be involved in the Olympics.
On the other hand
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, preparing general
facilities
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 for
the
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apply
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public use is essential in terms of conserving
people
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people's
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 health, which would certainly be affected. It is
also
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 possible to say that the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of public places will encourage the residents to exercise and be more conscious about their bodies' health.
Moreover
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, building
such
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 places will be available for all people including the top athletes.
For instance
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, many countries nowadays build
sports
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facilities
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 to be common for everyone, but they use time-dividing techniques to separate the public and top talented. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that providing
sports
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facilities
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 for public usage would be more beneficial than specialising it for a certain layer of society.

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task achievement
Be sure to directly answer the question in your introduction to make your position clear from the beginning.
task achievement
Expand your arguments with more specific examples to support your main points. This can increase the relevance and depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use cohesive devices effectively.
coherence cohesion
Remember to include more detailed explanations along with examples to support your main points adequately. This will enhance the support and development of your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
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