Many people work longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities.ther hand, Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

It is often considered that many individuals engage in jobs for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
longer
hours
and give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little
time
for leisure activities.
Thus
,
this
essay will elaborate on both positive and negative sides which
further
leads to a logical conclusion. Commencing, there are manyfold benefits of doing
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
for lengthy
hours
because the population of
Add an article
the
show examples
contemporary era, is workaholic and hardworking in their job,
as a consequence
, they learn new
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
along with
unique identity or respect in their company.
Moreover
, if
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
office activities for a longer hour,
then
they will get
addtional
Correct your spelling
additional
money which is helpful for the fulfilment of their
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
needs.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing companies offer high payroll to the non-staffs when they give extra
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
and it is essential for a worker
also
so to complete their
add on
Add a hyphen
add-on
show examples
requirements. Probing ahead, there are some drawbacks of performing tasks for
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
duration because nowadays,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
have their families with their kids and it is mandatory for them to offer some
time
for their wives
as well as
curbs.
However
, the person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to give
time
for their own physical development by doing exercises and playing sports which ameliorates their health issues.
For instance
,
"The
Change preposition
in "The
show examples
times
Capitalize word
Times
show examples
of India" an Indian newspaper illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
"
Time
management for
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
own benefit" in which they highlight the
time
for an individual to do leisure activities. In a nutshell, the public should donate their
time
only for
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
show examples
hours
, and should not give extra
time
, rather than they should utilize their precious
time
to complete
home pending
Add a hyphen
home-pending
show examples
chores.
Instead
of working longer
hours
, they should think about other alternatives to solve the issue of income.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

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Task Achievement
Ensure to fully address the task prompt in your introduction and clearly state if you believe the situation has more advantages or disadvantages. This clarity is crucial from the start.
Coherence & Cohesion
Strive to structure your essay more coherently by having clear paragraph divisions, each one focusing on a specific point. Start with a topic sentence that sums up the paragraph's main idea.
Task Achievement
In developing your arguments, make sure to include more specific examples that clearly illustrate your points. These examples should be directly related to the points being discussed and contribute to a clearer and more comprehensive understanding of your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the clarity and preciseness of your ideas. Some sentences are convoluted and difficult to follow, which hampers understanding. Simplify your sentence structure and be more direct with your points.
General
Use a wider range of vocabulary and strive for accuracy in your word choices. This can help make your argument more persuasive and your writing more engaging.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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