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Band 3.5

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #sports #facilities #train #athletes #development
In my opinion
that
Correct word choice
apply
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some countries which
builts
Correct your spelling
built
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 specialised facilities to
train
 top
athletes
 it is great. Because only by
this
 method of building perfect training camps ,
sportmans
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
sportsman
 can reach the top of their
sport
 section. But at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 we can see that in some situations
this
 method works badly. Let's take
example
Add an article
an example
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 from
Chechnya
. The president of
Chechnya
 , Ramzan
Kadirov
Correct your spelling
Kadyrov
 makes big donations and supporting to
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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to
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in
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 his country. But we can see that
amateur
Correct article usage
the amateur
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 level of
sport
 just downgrading
for
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apply
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every year in
Chechnya
. Kids or teenagers need to wait
on
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in
show examples
 order to
train
a
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in a
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sport
 in
Chechnya
. Like if you want to go to
train
some
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in some
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 martial arts, or just go to
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
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 centre , you might
to
Add a missing verb
have to
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 wait half of the year, only in best case scenario. The best idea to improve it ,
Capitalize word
I
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i
Capitalize word
I
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 guess
Correct your spelling
is
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it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 just
Fix the infinitive
to make
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make
Fix the infinitive
to make
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 equal
support
 and
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
show examples
 for each
Replace the word
training
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train
Replace the word
training
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
section
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sections
Fix the agreement mistake
section
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, for amateurs and
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apply
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to
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apply
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professional
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
athletes
. But let's be honest. For each country to
support
 top
athletes
 , it's just more profitable , than to
support
 amateurs in
sport
. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 guess it is
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 development, because you can leave a legacy in the whole world,
instead
to
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of supporting
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support
 amateurs.
Chechnya
 has so many
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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athletes
,which
gonna
Wrong verb form
is going to
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make
Chechnya
 more popular
for
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
 world, for the next 30 years , in my opinion. But ,in
this
 case , the amateur part of the
athletes
 will suffer greatly.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Structure
Focus on clearly introducing your topic and stating your opinion in the introduction. This sets the stage for your argument.
Structure
Ensure the conclusion summarises your arguments effectively and restates your opinion, reinforcing the message of your essay.
Logical Flow
Develop a clear logical structure for your essay. Organise your ideas into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point or example.
Cohesion
Connect your ideas using appropriate linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This helps in maintaining the reader's interest and understanding.
Task Response
Address both views of the topic as mentioned in the prompt. Discuss the positives and negatives before stating your opinion to fully respond to the task.
Examples and Support
Use specific examples to support your points. While you've provided an example of Chechnya, a more balanced approach covering both positive and negative aspects in more depth would strengthen your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
What to do next:
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