The bar chart below shows the number of men and women attending various evening course at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.

The bar chart below shows the number of men and women attending various evening course at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.
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The graph displays the numbers of people with different sexes attending different courses in 2009.The pie chart indicates the ages of those who participated in these classes.
Overall
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, language and painting have the highest share of attendances for both genders with women having a higher share than the males in almost all the classes.
Furthermore
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, painting has the highest numbers for males
while
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for the females in language.
Moreover
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, based on the pie chart , most of the participants are at least 50 years old followed by those under 20 years old with the lowest share. As can be observed, 40% of women have chosen the language course which for the men its only 20%.Followed by painting with females at 30 and men at slightly over 20 per
cent
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.
Nonetheless
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, in drama and sculpture numbers for men is 10% each which for females it stands at 20 for drama and less than 5 per
cent
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.
Finally
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, 42% of participants are above 50 years followed by those between 40 to 49.
Nevertheless
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, ages between 30 and 39 and 20 to 29 had 16 and 11 per
cent
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of the total those attending these courses.
Last
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but not least, only 5 per
cent
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of learners were ages under 20.
Submitted by mhosseinnaseri14 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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