Detailed describtion of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be banned in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It argues that expressing crimes in front of the public by methods like magazine or
television
channels notificate for citizens catch
the Fix the infinitive
to catch
information
. While
some people think it can be harmful for
society because it is negative Change the preposition
to
news
that might affect their children
's behaviors
. In my point of view, I believe Change the spelling
behaviours
this
type of information
on television
is necessary,
but needs to be controlled by the government.
Remove the comma
apply
Firstly
, notification about crimes on mainstream media
will help citizens who are living near special area
might catch the Fix the agreement mistake
areas
information
to avoid dangerous conditions. In addition
, this
data also
help increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
knowledges
about laws that Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
Add a missing verb
are bannded
bannded
in society. Correct your spelling
banned
For instance
, when television
brings a
Remove the article
news
a piece of news
news
on
the mass Change preposition
to
media
like a guilty have stolen a bank, it help
viewers Change the verb form
helps
can
know Verb problem
apply
that is
an abandoned law to avoid make
similar actions.
On the other Change the form of the verb
making
hands
, if the government do not control Fix the agreement mistake
hand
a
volume of criminal Correct article usage
the
news
, it can damage to
Change preposition
apply
children
who are exposed to it. That means, children
lack awareness and know the right things, while
they tend to imitate actions that have been watched on the media
. Nowadays, a large amount of news
on
Change preposition
in
media
is not controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
cause
of misleading and damaging to Correct your spelling
because
children
. In conclusion, mass media
is place
where existing much of Add an article
a place
the place
news
so it must be managed by the Correct article usage
the news
goverment
.
Correct your spelling
government
As a result
, describing Correct article usage
a criminals
criminals
person on Change the noun form
criminal
television
or Change preposition
in magazine
magazine
is one the positive methods to transmit Fix the agreement mistake
magazines
information
to citizens, but I believe there needs care about the type of methods that performed
to avoid Add a missing verb
are performed
affect on
Wrong verb form
affecting
children
's misunderstanding. Thus
, governmental regulation is imperative to strike a balance between informing the public and safeguarding vulnerable individuals, particularly children
.Submitted by hoaan2409 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Develop a more cohesive structure by creating clearer links between paragraphs and ideas. Use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
Logical Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises your viewpoint, making it easier for readers to follow.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Broad statements can be strengthened with specific, relevant information to demonstrate your argument more effectively.
Complete Response
Address the task more directly by explicitly stating your agreement or disagreement with the statement. Make sure your position is clear throughout the essay and reiterate it in the conclusion.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly express your ideas. Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence contributes to your overall argument.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate specific, relevant examples that directly support your argument. These examples should be detailed enough to demonstrate how they apply to your point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.