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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #team #sports #school
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There is a controversial conception heating a debate whether playing
sports
 at
school
 in a
team
 is the best method in order to educate youngsters
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 cooperation is. I consider myself
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an advocate of
this
 idea. Without a shadow of a doubt, playing
team
sports
 is the best way to tutor kids about collaboration. When engaging in
sports
 in a group helps the young generation improve their communication skills which is essential for cooperation.
For instance
, football can be cited as a compelling example, when playing football, adolescents will have to interact with each other constantly by either speaking or body language to have a score which is the homogeneous aim of the players.
Thus
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communicability can be improved by playing
sports
 in a crew. It is exciting to say that playing
team
sports
 at
school
 is an interesting way to teach the young about collaboration.
This
 may probably be because taking part in a
team
 sport at
school
 assists students to see the effectiveness of working together in order to reach the goal. To be more specific, when
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 a
team
 sport, children have to learn how to work together to reach the goal, by doing that the youngster can understand what teamwork is.
Hence
, participating in a
team
 sport at
school
 is the best way to
lecture
Verb problem
teach
show examples
 the young generation about working together. In conclusion, taking part in
team
sports
 can not only help children improve their communication skills but
also
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
teach them what cooperation is.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure the essay fully addresses the question's prompt, discussing both your position and providing a more balanced view with examples to substantiate your claims. Consider both sides of the argument to make sure your essay offers a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, begin by clearly structuring your essay with a distinctive introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that indicates the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a closing sentence if needed. Use a wider range of linking words and paragraphs to show clear relationships between ideas.
lexical resource
Incorporate more diversified sentence structures and vocabulary related to the topic, avoiding repetition. Aim to use a mix of complex sentences and precise vocabulary to convey your points more effectively, which would also enhance readability and engagement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
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