In the future, we may have more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home and at work. Discuss the benefits this will bring and also the problems this will cause.
It is predicted that mechanization will eventually replace many of the
jobs
we do today. Is this
a positive or negative development? I will look at some of the implications of this
trend and then
conclude that unfortunately
the drawbacks of increased leisure time may outweigh the benefits.
One of the main advantages of automation will be the disappearance of many dangerous or boring Add a comma
unfortunately,
jobs
, both in the home and at the workplace. As a result
, the experience of work
will become more positive, with creative and socially-rewarding
Correct your spelling
socially rewarding
jobs
replacing dull, monotonous ones. Another advantage will probably be an increase in the amount of free time people
enjoy. It is not inconceivable that the average worker will do a three-day week with more days off than at work
.
However
, this
development has more negative implications than positive. The most serious disadvantage of large-scale mechanization is the threat of unemployment and inequality. Unless governments can manage their human resources appropriately, we could end up with a situation in which the majority of the population are
unemployed and poor, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
while
a small minority are employed and fabulously rich. That might lead to a wide range of social problems.
Another possible adverse effect of increased leisure time is a deterioration in physical health. For most people
today, doing tasks in
Change preposition
at
the
home or at Correct article usage
apply
work
is their main source of exercise. If this
physical labour is replaced by robots and machines, many people
may abandon physical exercise altogether.
More serious than this
, however
, might be the negative effect on mental health. Work
gives us purpose in life. For most people
it is the main driving force in their day-to-day existence. It is well known that many retirees suddenly feel a loss of direction when they give up their Add a comma
people,
full –time
Correct your spelling
full–time
jobs
. Imagine the effect that ‘permanent retirement’ might have on the millions of young people
who find themselves made redundant by machines.
All things considered, I would say that large-scale automation poses serious threats, social, physical and psychological in nature.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Task Achievement
Focus on directly answering the given prompt by discussing both the benefits and problems brought by more leisure time due to machine replacement, ensuring that you maintain a balanced discussion throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Enhance your essay by including more specific examples to support your arguments. Make use of studies, statistics, or hypothetical scenarios to strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-organized, with each one focusing on a specific point. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect your ideas, enhancing the essay's overall flow and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although you've structured your essay effectively with an introduction and conclusion, consider refining your conclusion to more decisively state your personal stance on the issue, directly addressing the question posed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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