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Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visi5ng a par5cular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visi5ng a par5cular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #visi #ng #par5cular #caribbean #island
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The graph displays
informa2on
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information
 about the
number
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 of people who visited a special
island
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 in the Caribbean over a
seven-years
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seven-year
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 period between 2010 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that some of the
visitors
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 stayed on
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island
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the island
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 and some of them stayed on
cruise
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ships
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, but totally the
number
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 of
tourists
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 who visited
this
Linking Words
 special
island
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, increased steadily between 2010 and 2015,
then
Linking Words
 it levelled off for one year and
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aDer
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after
 that there is a sharp rise between 2016 and 2017. If we look at the graph, the total
number
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 of
tourists
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 started at one
million
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 in 2010 and it grew steadily by around 1.7
million
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,
then
Linking Words
 it levelled off at 2.7
million
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 between 2015 and 2016,
aDer
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 that there is a surge to 3.5
million
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 in 2017. Regarding the
number
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 of
visitors
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 who stayed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
, it started at 0.7
million
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 in 2010,
that
Correct word choice
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is
three quarters
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three-quarters
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 of the total
number
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, and it remained stable for one year un2l 2011,
then
Linking Words
 it doubled to around 1.5
million
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 over a
two-years
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two-year
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 period un2l 2013, at
this
Linking Words
point
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point,
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 it levelled off for two years and
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aDer
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after
 that there is a slight fall to 1.3
million
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 in 2016.
Linking Words
Finally
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Finally,
show examples
 it improved to 1.5
million
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 in 2017,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is three sevenths of the total
number
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. As regards the figure of
tourists
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 who stayed on
cruise
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ships
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, it started at 0.25
million
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,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is a quarter of total of
tourists
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 in
this
Linking Words
 year,
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aDer
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and
 that it went up slightly to 0.5
million
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 in 2011,
then
Linking Words
 it went down negligibly to 0.25
million
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 again, at
this
Linking Words
 point it started to increase steadily by around 1.75
million
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 to two
million
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 in 2017
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
four sevenths
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four-sevenths
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 of
total
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a total
the total
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number
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 of
visitors
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. Looking at the details,
ini2ally
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initially
 the
number
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 of
visitors
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 who stayed on
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island
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the island
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 was twice as many as
visitors
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stayed
Correct pronoun usage
who stayed
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 on
cruise
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ships
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 in 2010 but
finally
Linking Words
 in 2017,
visitors
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 staying on
cruise
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ships
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are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 0.5
million
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 more than
visitors
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 staying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, island, visitors, cruise, ships, tourists, ader, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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