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Writing Samples
Band 5

Do the benefits of genetic engineering outweigh the dangers? ? (Genetically Modified Organisms – GMOs)

#dangers #organisms #gmos
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Whether to utilise
GMOs
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 in agriculture is a recurring argument.
This
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 writer argues that the benefits of increasing product productivity and reducing pesticides outweigh the drawbacks of environmental pollution. The most advantageous factor of using
GMOS
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 is that it ensures the quality and design of the
products
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.
In other words
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,
GMOs
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 protect
products
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 from diseases and the impact of environmental conditions.
Furthermore
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,
GMOs
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also
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 help
farmers
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 save time on farming
as well as
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 production costs than traditional methods.
As a result
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,
GMOs
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 lead to higher yields and improve food security. Another point that should be considered is the amount of pesticides which are spent on the
products
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. It must be recognised that when
farmers
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 utilise
GMOs
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, it just requires a few chemical drugs
as well as
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 pesticides.
As a result
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,
products
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 which are applied to
GMOs
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 will protect the
environment
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 from pollution and buyers can consume an organic product with more nutrition.
However
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, some people think that utilising
GMOs
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 will make the
environment
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 become polluted.
Due to
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 the fact that most
farmers
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 tend to eliminate
waste
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 sources to the
environment
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such
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 as rivers or garbage dumps. It may be true but
by
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apply
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installing cameras in these places and tightening regulations on
waste
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 treatment will go a long way in preventing the
environment
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 from
waste
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 pollutants. Taking all points into account, the
waste
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 pollutants are outweighed by the benefits of the high productivity and the good quality of the output.
Hence
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, it is more beneficial for
farmers
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 to utilise
GMOs
Use synonyms
 in agriculture.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points and your stance on the topic. These sections are currently lacking in detail and clarity, which impacts the overall effectiveness of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your essay with a more logical structure by creating distinct paragraphs for each main point, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Use cohesive devices (such as linking words and phrases) more effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Supporting Examples
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. While you mention the benefits and potential drawbacks of GMOs, including relevant studies, statistics, or specific instances can strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
Task Achievement
Address the task more completely by exploring both sides of the argument more thoroughly. While you mention a counterargument, consider dedicating a full paragraph to discussing opposing views and refuting them with evidence. This will make your argument stronger and more balanced.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • genetic engineering
  • drought-resistant
  • food scarcity
  • unforeseen health effects
  • yield
  • nutritional value
  • malnutrition
  • ecological impact
  • native species
  • biodiversity
  • chemical pesticides
  • environmental health benefits
  • ethical considerations
  • genetic manipulation
  • designer organisms
  • monopolization
  • agricultural industry
  • small-scale farmers
  • medical breakthroughs
  • gene therapy
  • genetic disorders
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