the first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissoions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissoions

The pie charts compare the average

energy

use

in an

Australian

household with the greenhouse

gas

emissions

which result from

this

energy

use

Overall

, the general trend showed

unexpected

Add an article

an unexpected

show examples

pattern.

Whereas

the

Australian

energy

consumtion

Correct your spelling

consumption

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

the highest in heating

then

water heating , it was

suprisely

Correct your spelling

surprised

that the greenhouse

gas

emissions

were higher in water heating than heating . The most significant

features

Fix the agreement mistake

feature

show examples

of the

energy

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

used in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Australian

households

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

heating followed by water heating which accounted for 42% and 30%

recpictively

Correct your spelling

respectively

however

, the

gas

emissions

resulted

Wrong verb form

resulting

show examples

from

this

energy

use

were 15% and 32%

recpectively

Correct your spelling

respectively

. Refrigeration and other

applinances

Correct your spelling

appliances

represent 22% of the total

energy

use

in Australia in 7% and 15% separately.

Dispite

Correct your spelling

Despite

that fact, the

Australian

greenhoues

Correct your spelling

greenhouse

greenhouses

gas

emissions

were almost the double amount which

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

14% for refrigeration and 28% for other

applinances

Correct your spelling

appliances

On the other hand

, the lowest

precentages

Correct your spelling

percentages

percentage

energy

consumtion

Correct your spelling

consumption

included cooling at 2% and lighting at 4% with

gas

emissions

that

colletively

Correct your spelling

collectively

made up 11% .

Submitted by zx00154 on Sun Feb 18 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, use, australian, gas, emissions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

171 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissoions which result from this energy use.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In most countries, young people form a large proportion of those who are unemployed. Why this is the case, and what can be done to solve the problem?

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through the Inteenet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree