As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalisation. Some people fear that globalisation will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, when our society is in the stage of rapid transformation ,a tendency to increase

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the amount of factors which lead to globalisation can be observed. It is agreed, that

this

Linking Words

issue can lead to the total

loss

Use synonyms

of cultural identity,as

cities

Use synonyms

and

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of nationalities grow significantly and rural areas

appears

Correct subject-verb agreement

appear

show examples

to be less common.

This

Linking Words

essay,

firstly

Linking Words

,will discuss why mass communication and transport rise

continuesly

Correct your spelling

continuously

, followed by an analysis of consequences which can contribute to the negative development

for

Change preposition

show examples

culture.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the demand

Change preposition

for

show examples

transport and expansion of

cities

Use synonyms

rises dramatically

due to

Linking Words

the increasing population growth.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a lot of people with different nationality immigrate to other countries, since they want to provide their lives with better opportunities.

For example

Linking Words

, the war in Ukraine forced millions of Ukrainians to immigrate all over the world. The statistics

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

,that only in Canada there were more than 200

thousands

Change to singular

thousand

show examples

Ukrainians who moved there in 2023.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it proves that the demand to expand

cities

Use synonyms

work places

Correct your spelling

workplaces

show examples

and transport grows significantly. In general,

due to

Linking Words

these

reasones

Correct your spelling

reasons

, cultures and nationalities are mixed,and

this

Linking Words

issue can contribute to the total

loss

Use synonyms

of cultural identity.

Furthermore

Linking Words

usually

Add a comma

usually,

show examples

a tendency to safe traditions can be observed in rural areas,

however

Linking Words

, the greater the population is, the higher the development of

cities

Use synonyms

is, and in

cosequence

Correct your spelling

consequence

large

city

Add a comma

city,

show examples

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

displace the villages.

In addition

Linking Words

, mixed cultures lead to the

loss

Use synonyms

of traditions and even languages.

Thus

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

common overpopulation can contribute to irreparable damage.

To conclude

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay agrees with

idea

Correct article usage

the idea

show examples

that,

unfortunalety

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

, globalisation has an adverse impact on

cultures

Change noun form

cultures'

culture's

show examples

identity

Fix the agreement mistake

identities

show examples

and it can lead to their

loss

Use synonyms

amina.ilyuk8Sun Feb 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Focus on creating a more structured outline before you begin writing. This will help you organize your thoughts and ensure that your essay flows logically from one point to the next.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and summarise your main points effectively. This will help the reader understand your stance and the structure of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Expand on your main points by providing more specific examples and explanations. This will help to further support your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Task Achievement

Address the prompt directly and make sure your essay fully responds to all parts of the question. This includes both agreeing or disagreeing with the statement and discussing the extent of your agreement or disagreement.

Task Achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. This will make your essay more engaging to read.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more complex sentence structures to demonstrate your language proficiency. This will also help to make your argument more nuanced.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It has been highlighted the importance for all counties and cities to have green areas and peaceful places to enjoy being outdoors. Furthermore, different studies have shown the impact of having contact with nature as a daily routine. The following essay will discuss my point of view in the benefits and drawbacks of the statement.
8.5
band
Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There are different attitudes towards the best approach to gaining a better job position among other applicants. While some people believe that obtaining a qualification from a university is the most significant factor in this regard, others argue that developing soft skills and having relevant experience play a vital role in receiving a better offer. In my opinion, all these matters differ from one job position to another.
5
band
Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss and give opinion.
Nowadays, the right age of schooling become an intellectual conflict among the experts. While, defenders argue that kids should attend school as early as possible, opponents think that the appropriate time of schooling is over the 6 or 7. In my point of view, not the former but the latter group’s ideology is more realistic and worth to be supported. This essay delves into these opinions and expresses my notion before drawing a reasonable conclusion.
6.5
band
you have seen an advertisement from a couple who live in australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a yar. writte a letter to the couple. in your letter explain why you think you would be suitable for the job say what else you could do for the family give your reasons for wanting the job
I am writing this letter to inform you that I saw the advertisement you posted in the job street application. I am interested in the position of teaching your two children to learn Spanish for a year since I'm currently in need of a job.
6.5
band
Your local public library wants to make improvements to their services and facilities. In order to get ideas from the public, they have asked library users to send them suggestions in writing. Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter • describe what you like about the library • say what you don’t like • make suggestions for improvements
I have been a member of the library for two years and ,I admire the vast variety of the collection it possesses. Additionally, the seamless process to reserve books saves a lot of time, not to mention the clean environment which the staff maintains is admirable.

Your opinion

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss and give opinion.