some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?
While
some people emphasize that women
can do any kind of jobs
because there is equality between men and Fix the agreement mistake
job
women
, others say that there are also
inappropriate works for women
and so they believe that every genders
Change to a singular noun
gender
are
not similar level. From my perspective, I would argue with the first group of individuals.
One of the main reasons why there is Correct subject-verb agreement
is
equal
view between Add an article
the equal
an equal
two
genders is that people have their own choice to work somewhere and it does not matter Correct article usage
the two
they
are men or Correct word choice
whether they
women
. To explain, each person wants to achieve something their
life and Change preposition
in their
want
to own Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
job
which is dreamed about themselves. These days, even females are more active in society than males. Correct article usage
a job
As a result
, they try hard to reach good promotion. For example
, in my country, more females are submitting a
Correct article usage
apply
document
for study and entering there more effectively than males. Fix the agreement mistake
documents
This
is the best substantiation to prove women
’s knowledge. Therefore
, it is important to maintain equality in today’s society.
Another reason is that womankind have
a pivotal role in the development of the world and technologies. They contribute to Change the verb form
has
improve
life Change the verb form
improving
as well as
men. To explain, I would say many people admired from intelligence of women
because the projects they suggested have been useful for society over the years. As a result
, a lot of individuals appreciate ladies due to
their unmatched intelligence. For instance
, Indra Nooyi is of
the most successful Correct pronoun usage
one of
women
through
the world. She operates Change preposition
in
“
Correct article usage
a “pepsi”
pepsi
” company and already has become one of the best females in trade. Certainly, it is not Change the capitalization
Pepsi
small
thing to manage an industry for a female.
In conclusion, Add an article
a small
although
some trust women
not to able
to do a number of jobs Add a missing verb
be able
women
are trying to contribute the
development of the world and I believe that they never give up.Change preposition
to the
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
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Introduction
Consider beginning with a more engaging introduction to capture the reader's interest more effectively. While your introduction sets up the argument well, adding a compelling question or statement could make it more intriguing.
In your essay, try to use a wider variety of sentence structures and connectors to improve the flow and readability. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'To explain,' you could use phrases like 'This can be illustrated by,' or 'For instance.','type':'Coherence
Examples
While you provide relevant examples, such as referencing Indra Nooyi, work on integrating these examples more seamlessly into your argument. Offer detailed analysis on how these examples support your main points.
Task Response
To improve task response, make sure to address all parts of the prompt. Your essay strongly supports one view, but briefly acknowledging the opposing view before refuting it could strengthen your argument.
Grammar
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and proper article use to reduce grammatical errors.