IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#uk #time #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided table shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
time
 range of unemployed people by 14 sorts (
housework
, shopping, job hunting, visiting friends or relatives, gardening,
TV
, reading, decorating, walking, nothing/sitting around, staying in bed, visiting town, playing
sport
Add an article
a sport
the sport
show examples
, drinking) of activities in the
last
 year in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. The information is measured by not only gender but
also
 morning and afternoon.
Overall
, in the morning, numerous of
man
hunts
Correct subject-verb agreement
hunt
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
,
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
housework
,
whereas
 half of
women
 do
housework
 and go shopping
while
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
 jobless. In the afternoon,
man
 watches
TV
 or garden, despite
women
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
housework
 or
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 friends and
realities
Correct your spelling
relatives
show examples
.
According
Add the preposition
According to
show examples
this
 table, unemployed
Britisher
Fix the agreement mistake
Britishers
show examples
 hang out their spare
time
 for
housework
, gardening, shopping and job hunting when they are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inactive. The lowest spending morning
time
 could be seen in
category
Add an article
the category
show examples
 of drinking, nothing/ sitting around and
TV
 in all genders.
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
show examples
, spending
time
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
housework
 accounted
dramatically
Change preposition
for dramatically
show examples
 greater than
Add an article
the male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 19% and 49% respectively, despite
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 gardening
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
at 14% which is more than
women
 (2%).
On the other hand
,
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 afternoon
time
 was staying in bed, visiting town, playing
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and drinking which accounted for under 5% in both genders.
Man
 jobless person watch
TV
 most at just 14%, even though
women
 do
housework
 highest 21%)
Submitted by ariunnyam on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, housework, tv, man, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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