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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee in 1999 and 2004 in five European Countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below give information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee in 1999 and 2004 in five European Countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates information regarding the trade of fair trade-labelled
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden between 1999 and 2004. The figures are measured in euros.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that there is an increasing value of sales among five countries in both years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 interesting to note that the highest revenue was earned by the UK in the second year,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest number was obtained by Sweden in the first year. In 1999, Denmark earned 1.8 million which was the biggest value compared to Sweden which accounted for less than half of
earnings
Use synonyms
. These countries
then
Linking Words
 faced escalated sales up to 0.2 million in 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1999, Switzerland
also
Linking Words
 generated high
earnings
Use synonyms
 which was double
of
Correct determiner usage
that of
show examples
 the UK. Interestingly, in 2000, the
earnings
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 sales in the latter were more than thirteen times higher than that of in the first year,
whereas
Linking Words
coffee
Use synonyms
 revenue in the former
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 just two times.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
earnings
Use synonyms
 of
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Belgium
also
Linking Words
 went up by more than fifty per cent.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, earnings with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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