Some people think we need more female leaders to create world peace and reduce violence. To what extent do you agree?

#people #leaders #world #peace #violence

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Unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so are the

people

. Society’s

people

are divided into two groups and

therefore

, we need more female

leaders

to create world peace has become a topic of debate among

people

This

essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions

along with

my opinion which is in the favour of former/latter view will be discussed in a sensible conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the first school of thought,

firstly

, female

leaders

more have traits of character than male

leaders

because they have much more kindness than male politicians. The

people

who support

this

say that there are many wars that were prevented by lady

leaders

Secondly

, said that Female

leaders

cannot prevent wars because they do have not that type of political skills and it

is not depend

Change the verb form

does not depend

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

lady

leaders

. In fact, it is possible that the lady

leaders

can be strong politicians. On the contrasting side,

people

who hold another viewpoint say that It does not matter with the leader . They believe that peace can be achieved only by wars.

Furthermore

, I respect

this

point.

To conclude

, I would like to say that, when women become a lot of national political international organizations we have a balance with male politicians and at that time it will be easy to make non-violent decisions for political processes in every part of the world.

However

, it will depend upon the mindsets of the

people

and which view they are in favour of.

Submitted by zohrab-gevorgyan on Mon Feb 19 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve in task achievement, make sure to delve deeper into the topic by providing more distinct, clear viewpoints. It's important to directly answer the question and focus on to what extent you agree or disagree, providing more elaborated reasons and concrete examples to support your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, aim for a more structured flow of ideas. Start by introducing your main point, then expand on it with supporting arguments, and transition smoothly between paragraphs for a coherent flow. Try to make your conclusion a summary of your arguments and a clear statement of your viewpoint, directly relating to the essay question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Some people think we need more female leaders to create world peace and reduce violence. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Is it a positive or negative development?