IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Online shopping has become more popular than before.discuss causes and effects of this trend.

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Online shopping has become more exciting and widespread in recent times because of new technology.
However
Linking Words
, there are effects of expansion
eshopping
Correct your spelling
shopping
.
This
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 essay will examine the reasons and effects of online shopping.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, online shopping has
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
way
Add an article
the way
a way
show examples
 of shopping and
make
Wrong verb form
has made
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change
Add an article
a change
the change
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
todays
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 shopping as it
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
people
Use synonyms
shopping
Wrong verb form
shop
show examples
 which will
offer
Use synonyms
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 easy way of shopping and reduce
time
Add an article
the time
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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spent by
people
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
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 normal shopping.
Furthermore
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, it
Use synonyms
offer
Change the verb form
offers
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 different
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
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 from all countries around the world
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 very good
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 because of the low cost of marketing and
other cost
Change the wording
another cost
other costs
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 that depend
to
Change preposition
on offering
show examples
offer
Use synonyms
 the
products
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, shopping can be more secure for
people
Use synonyms
 as they are shopping online from home or
other place
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
 that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them save. For
inctance
Correct your spelling
instance
,online shopping delivers
products
Use synonyms
 to houses in a very
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 way.
On the other hand
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, the impact of online shopping on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traditional
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
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 is very important as there is
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shopping from normal
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 which will
make
Verb problem
be
show examples
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 risk.
However
Linking Words
, the traditional
shop
Use synonyms
 offers the physical experience of
products
Use synonyms
 to
offer
Use synonyms
 a good option for shopping but
people
Use synonyms
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to buy from online shopping because of low
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
For example
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,
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
 like
aliexpress
Change the capitalization
Aliexpress
show examples
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 many
products
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 very low
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
Correct your spelling
compare
compared
campare
Correct your spelling
compared
 to normal
shop
Use synonyms
To conclude
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, I believe that the should government take the role of controlling online shopping which will reduce the impact that may effects on traditional shops.
In addition
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should not less the experience of shopping from mail and life the moment of real shopping.

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structure
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use paragraphing effectively to separate different ideas.
introduction & conclusion
In the introduction, clearly state the cause and effects of online shopping you will discuss. In the conclusion, summarize your main points without introducing new information.
linking words
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly. Use them to show the relationship between ideas, such as cause/effect, contrast, and addition.
main points development
Develop your main points fully with explanations and specific examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea related to the causes or effects of online shopping.
task response
Ensure your response directly addresses the task. Discuss both the causes and effects of online shopping as the prompt requests, providing sufficient detail and examples for each.
grammar & punctuation
Proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structures. Avoid repetitive sentence patterns and check for punctuation errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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