It is often said that governments spend too much mo ey on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems. That are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern era, some nations pay too much attention to
preserve
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preserving
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environment
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the environment
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. Some people believe it is crucial but other groups disagree and think there are more important things to spend money on rather than
wildlife
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. With all due
repect
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respect
to the second standpoint, I fully endorse the first one and think existing of
human kind
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humankind
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is depend
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depends
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on
Correct article usage
the wild
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wild life
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wildlife
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and they can
also
Linking Words
benefit us in various ways that
i'm
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I'm
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going to explain more about in the rest of my essay.
To begin
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with,
wildlife
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is vital for humans to live.
For example
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, penicillin which is made of a particular kind of bacterium,
save
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saves
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lives
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the lives
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of thousands of people annually and without that, there will be no human. In
other word
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another word
other words
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, protecting
wildlife
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is protecting
human kind
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humankind
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, indeed.
Additionally
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, many other kinds of materials
used
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are used
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in various industries like those that are used in space crafts. These materials shape our lives and help us to expand our accomplishments .
Therefore
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,
environment
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the environment
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is one of
the
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our
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kindest friends
of
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apply
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us
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apply
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which helps us thrive.
Besides
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to
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apply
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manufacturing a lot of medicine and materials, preserving
wilerness
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wilderness
can enhance the local economy and help individuals financially.
For example
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,
northern
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the northern
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forests of Iran are
hiphly
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highly
protected and
government
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the government
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spends about 3 million USD to take care of them annually. On the other side,
this
Linking Words
national park draws a lot of tourists every year and
obsorb
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absorbs
abd
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and
5 million USD from both foreign and
demostis
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domestic
tourists. So, wilerness gives back the
mony
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money
that is
Linking Words
spent by
counrties
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countries
counties
and it is a
win win
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win-win
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deal for both humanity and animals which
strengthen
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strengthens
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the bond between us and other creatures.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the controversy about whether governments should bear a lot of
expences
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expenses
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to take care of natural
wildlife
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remains heated
beween
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between
some groups of society. Because of
financial
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the financial
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and other vital contributions of creatures, I think it is worth it to help the environment and I hope
some day
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someday
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we can be friends with animals again like before.
Submitted by yasinkooshki13866 on

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your opinion on the topic. Your introduction does well to state your position, but refining it for clarity and strength could make your stance even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between ideas by using a wider range of linking words and transitions. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
task achievement
While you provided good examples to support your points, try to develop your ideas further with more detailed explanations on how they support your argument. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Check for and correct spelling errors ('wilerness', 'hiphly', 'obsorb', 'demostis') and typographical errors to improve the professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Consider revisiting your conclusion to reinforce your viewpoint. A more powerful conclusion can elegantly summarize your key arguments and reiterate your stance, leaving a lasting impression on the reader.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • eco-tourism
  • interconnected issues
  • misallocation of resources
  • intrinsically valuable
  • sustainable development
  • biodiversity hotspot
  • environmental stewardship
  • habitat preservation
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