IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The maps below show an Industrial area in the town of Norton, and planned future development of the site.

The maps below show an Industrial area in the town of Norton, and planned future development of the site.
#maps #show #area #town #norton #future #development #site
The maps illustrate an industrial
area
 in the town of Norbiton
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and planned future development of the site. Generally, a comparison of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 maps reveals a change from
industrial
Add an article
an industrial
show examples
area
 to
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
 landscape. In the first map buildings
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
land
Add an article
the land
show examples
 were much
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 with a large empty space, but by the future
plan
Add a comma
plan,
show examples
 it would be filled by houses and
another infrastructional places
Replace the adjective
another infrastructional place
other infrastructional places
show examples
,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
. The most
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
show examples
 change took place on the north
side
 of
land
Add an article
the land
show examples
,
here
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 was built a bridge, which connects two sides of
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
.
Moreover
, on the north
side
 of the
river
Add a comma
river,
show examples
 it will be built a big housing. Only a few buildings on the first map save keep their place, on the north-east
side
 of the
area
 two factories will be reconstructed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing.
Furthermore
, there is added a new ring road
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the entrance to the living
area
.
According to
 the second
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
 the town on the west
side
 would not expand to the land.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, side with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: