Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial
discussing
Replace the word
discussion
show examples
point that male and female have their typical criteria for particular
jobs
which are suitable for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and others for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
. Despite the writer contending that there are some occupations that
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only
men
can handle
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or only
women
can because of
both
genders’ limit in
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
field and their
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
show examples
. It should be acknowledged that
women
are strong in physical and mental health,
however
, in some cases, they are still weaker than
men
. Many
jobs
require the ability to
work
heavily and dangerously
such
as firefighter and pilot which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
solely employ
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
for those
jobs
.
According to
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some academic research, it demonstrates that the structure of
female’s
Correct article usage
a female’s
show examples
body still has some limit in strength. In brief,
women
may not handle
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain occupations.
Male’s
Change noun form
Male
show examples
characteristics are
also
a considerable reason why they are unable to finish the
work
as well as
women
do. What the author means is
both
sexes can be patient and dedicated, though,
men
solve the problems probably which asks for some strict personalities.
For example
, in some cases, the
work
demands a person who is really careful and flexible in whatever they do,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
employees tend to hire a woman rather than a man even though a man is suitable for their standard. Briefly,
men
are unable to handle all the
jobs
especially the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
requiring a specific personality.
In contrast
, many individuals believe that the
work
will be perfectly completed by
both
genders. Heading to the best result, people have to cooperate with the opposite sex because
both
sexes sometimes need the other assistance to finish their
work
.
This
will keep the balance of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
genders in job employment and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Taking all points into account,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
have their own boundaries and strength and people have to accept their
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
.
This
will maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equality and no discrimination between different genders.
Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction that clearly states your opinion on the topic. This will help set the direction of your essay.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, be specific with examples or evidence that support your points. Generic statements can weaken your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas and paragraphs using cohesive devices (e.g., however, therefore) appropriately to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. This helps maintain the logical structure of your argument throughout.
task achievement
Be mindful of repeating the same point. Instead, aim to cover different aspects of the topic within each paragraph to provide a comprehensive response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
What to do next:
Look at other essays: