Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Whether men and women should have distinct careers for each sexuality, since they have distinguished qualities, is a highly debatable question. The author believes that there should not be any specific roles
to
each sex because of satisfaction Change preposition
for
in
jobs and gender equality.
It should be self-aware that job satisfaction is always the most important thing in business. Since everyone has the right to pursue careers that suit them, there are no reasons to restrain the job’s limit Change preposition
with
according to
sexuality, which may sometimes make people frustrating
. Take Thailand as a prime example, job satisfaction’s level was reported to Replace the word
frustrated
increased
sharply since the rules regarding roles of different sexes in the industry were removed. Change the verb
increase
Thus
, improve
the Wrong verb form
improving
overall
level of happiness of the whole nation.
Another factor that worth
mentioning is the rising trend of equality in genders. Add a missing verb
is worth
In other words
, females are able to pursue occupations that usually
believed to be only available to males and Add a missing verb
are usually
also
in the other way. In the USA, more than 50% of politicians are actually female. Hence
, erasing the barrier between these two sexes.
However
, some critics argue that to some extents
especially strength Fix the agreement mistake
extent
that
women are weaker than their counterparts and Correct pronoun usage
apply
therefore
, occupations regarding each gender should be separated. This
can be true, but it would conflict with the norm of this
modern age, where female people urge
to find work that can prove their values Wrong verb form
are urged
as well as
their authorities
and, Fix the agreement mistake
authority
in
the other way, men long for careers that can ease their mind. Thereby, sex discrimination is no longer worth mentioning.
In conclusion, I believe that both sexes should be guaranteed to take suitable occupations for them. Change preposition
on
Therefore
, distinct roles in society and business should not appear in perception or either
in reality.Correct word choice
apply
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task achievement and coherence & cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your view and outlines the essay's structure. This helps readers understand your position and the flow of your arguments right from the start.
coherence & cohesion
Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, supported by specific examples or further explanation. This enhances clarity and the persuasive power of your arguments.
coherence & cohesion
Aim for more variety in sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
task achievement
Address the essay prompt directly and ensure all parts of the prompt are answered comprehensively. Discuss multiple viewpoints if the question requires it before giving your own view clearly.
task achievement
For complex topics, consider using comparative examples from different countries or sectors to elucidate your points further.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?