IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there's a common belief that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have distinct traits that limit them to specific
jobs
Use synonyms
 aligned with their
gender
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay strongly opposes
this
Linking Words
 idea, arguing that awareness of traditional
gender
Use synonyms
roles
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 evolved in the past decade. Some argue that certain
jobs
Use synonyms
, like mining and construction, require specific physical characteristics, making them better suited for
men
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is based on the belief that each
gender
Use synonyms
's innate nature determines the ideal job for them.
For instance
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
, known for their emotional intelligence, are seen as more suitable for
roles
Use synonyms
 like nannies, teachers, and mothers. On the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
other hand, I believe both genders express a strong interest in
jobs
Use synonyms
 traditionally associated with the opposite
gender
Use synonyms
, challenging the notion that certain
roles
Use synonyms
 are exclusive to one
gender
Use synonyms
. Societal emphasis on traditional
roles
Use synonyms
 has fueled a determination to debunk outdated cultural views. Examples include
men
Use synonyms
 excelling in cooking and
women
Use synonyms
 achieving great success in corporate management.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the classification of occupations based on
gender
Use synonyms
 capabilities is considered outdated. In summary, despite the prevailing belief that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 should only work in
jobs
Use synonyms
 aligned with their perceived qualities,
this
Linking Words
 essay disagrees. It highlights numerous cases where individuals have successfully disproven
this
Linking Words
 notion by excelling in
roles
Use synonyms
 traditionally associated with the opposite
gender
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, aim to include more specific examples and data that directly support your arguments. Including real-world examples or statistics can make your position on the topic more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While your essay is well-structured, varying your use of connectors can enhance readability and demonstrate a wider lexical resource.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
What to do next:
Look at other essays: