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Band 3.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
It is argued that students think that they need to have optional
subjects
in addition
 to their compulsory
subjects
. I am completely convinced that it is of great importance to focus on studying for a qualification.
This
 essay will discuss both points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
.
In contrast
, the
further
 information may be tedious. Focusing on the main data for your profession allows you to be more qualified in your sphere,
while
 other
subjects
 are able only to take energy and attention. A primary example of
this
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that in real life you don’t have to know around you, more scientific
researche
Correct your spelling
research
researcher
 or similar information will never be useful. On one side, it will be useful, if students study additional items. People want to explore some
another term
Fix the agreement mistake
other terms
show examples
,
whereas
 learning main
subjects
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will help them with great communication and mental skills generally.
For instance
, you will easily support any dialogue with every person or completely choose products ( you will know, which structure ought to be in any product ).
To sum up
,
while
 some students want to understand all processes in
this
 world, others think that their great qualification is the main part of their life. It is advisable to give people the right to choose, but in my opinion, it is convenient and more productive to concentrate only on compulsory
subjects
.
Submitted by balnur_amantay on

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task achievement
To improve your score, consider adding a clear, concise introduction that directly addresses the essay question. This will help anchor your essay and clarify your position from the outset.
coherence and cohesion
Use more cohesive devices and clearer paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the one before it.
task achievement
To elevate your task achievement score, work on developing your ideas more fully with relevant examples or evidence. For each point you make, try to include an example that illustrates or supports it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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