IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
There is a controversial argument about whether certain careers are more suitable for either
men
 or
women
. The author contends that
men
 and
women
 are equal in terms of potential and qualities
, thereby
Correct word choice
and, thereby
show examples
, have the same opportunities in their chosen fields. It must be acknowledged that currently,
both
men
 and
women
 do not have any considerable differences regarding
biological
Add an article
the biological
show examples
 body and intellectual thinking,
hence
,
both
men
 and
women
 have
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 potential to do well in their jobs.
Additionally
, judging a person's progression through their gender will burry gifted individuals down.
As a result
, some people will never have the opportunity to show off their talents. Male and female distribution in the workplace is another point to consider. To justify, a workplace with either males or females dominating the population will lead to unpredictable risks afterwards.
For instance
, some specific careers need
both
men
 and
women
 to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmony
as well as
 operate normally.
Therefore
, integrating males and females together will boost the work's efficiency and
also
 the quality in the workplace. Some critics said that there are plenty of jobs that
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 certain characteristics like physical fitness or flexibility that are only suitable for one gender.
This
 may be true but all of those characteristics can be obtained through hard-working and practical experiences.
Therefore
, individuals have
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 right to follow their dreams regardless of sex. In conclusion,
both
men
 and
women
 can do
as well as
 their counterparts in every
jobs
Change to a singular noun
job
show examples
. Thereby, the norm that each gender will have different performances in certain works is untrue in
this
 modern society.

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coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of sentence structures to demonstrate greater fluency and complexity. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure to directly address the prompt by clearly stating your stance in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion for greater impact.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your argument more convincing and relevant to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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