There is a lot of pressure on young people today to success academically. As a result, some people believe that non academic subjects such as physical education and cookery should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on a academic work.

There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
intense debate about the efficiency of practical materials in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education strategies.
However
, some experiments argue that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
articles must
reveal
Wrong verb form
be revealed
show examples
from
Add an article
the
show examples
curriculum.
An another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
group go beyond that
this
materials
Change the determiner
material
show examples
has a crucial role in the child mentality. I totally
coincide
Verb problem
agree
show examples
with
Add an article
a later
the later
show examples
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
view. On one hand, the initial scholars discuss
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
additionals
Change the noun form
additional
show examples
themes ought to lead
puplis
Correct your spelling
pupils
to be misleading.
For instance
, matters like arts, cooking,sports science...etc do not need to
know it
Verb problem
be
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kindergartens. What is more, the teaching of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
items
constitute
Change the verb form
constitutes
show examples
an additional burden to
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.
Instead
of focusing on specific materials, the effort of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
distributing
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more and more articles which they do not need
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the future. For
this
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
, the previous gathering
invite
Replace the word
invited
show examples
to
omitt
Correct your spelling
omit
any
further
details from the education system. On the other side, an
another scientists
Replace the adjective
another scientist
other scientists
show examples
invoked
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
subjects are the most important factors in the process of educating kids.
For example
, a lot of
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
careers in the universal currently
such
as
sporting
Replace the word
sports
show examples
, singing, cooking...etc.
Moreover
, extracurricular activities play a crucial role in the building of
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
character and contribute to discovery the
intelligent
Change preposition
of intelligent
show examples
students.
Furthermore
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
articles are important and do not require
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more effort from the children.
To sum up
, l totally agreed with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
view, in spite of the reasonable evidence admitted by the first group. I believe that the
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
show examples
activity has the same significance as the other subjects and the schools must preserve
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
Change preposition
of this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
subjects.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion. Include more specific examples to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
For improved coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Use clear paragraphing with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Utilize linking words effectively to help with the progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and showcase your ability to discuss the topic in depth.
Language Proficiency
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Improving these areas will help clarify your arguments and enhance your overall score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!