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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There has been recent debate about whether classrooms should replace conventional
books
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 with more modern media
such
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 as movies,
games
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, and computers.
Although
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multimedia
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 tools in education are engaging and interactive, it is crucial to prioritize the enduring value of
books
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. Films, computers, and
games
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 offer unique advantages in educational settings.
For instance
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, films provide a dynamic platform to present complex concepts and historical events, making them more accessible to
students
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 through visual storytelling. Many
students
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 learn more about issues
such
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 as slavery through movies like "Twelve Years a Slave" than from textbooks.
Similarly
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, interactive computer programs and educational
games
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 can promote active learning, problem solving skills, and teamwork. Engaging in technology-based activities often heightens motivation and interest in a given subject compared to traditional book-based learning methodologies. Despite the benefits of
multimedia
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 tools,
books
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 have greater value in classroom contexts. Reading
books
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 cultivates critical thinking, language proficiency, and analytical skills.
Books
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 encourage
students
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 to develop their imagination and form independent thoughts, fostering more nuanced understanding. They provide a wealth of information and perspectives that may not be readily available in
multimedia
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 formats. A well-known example of
this
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 would be Huckleberry Finn, a
19th century
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19th-century
show examples
 novel by Mark Twain that most American high school
students
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 must read. Reading
such
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 an old novel requires
students
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 to engage their mental faculties more actively than more passive contemporary media formats and
therefore
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 better advances academic and intellectual development. Integrating films, computers, and
games
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 in education can enhance engagement and motivation,
however
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, the lasting value of
books
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 must be given greater weight in curriculum design. By employing
multimedia
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 tools alongside traditional resources to an extent, schools can cater to different learning styles and simultaneously prioritize and preserve traditional methods of learning.

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task achievement
Expand your introduction by clearly stating your stance on the use of films, computers, and games instead of books in schools. It's essential that the reader understands your position from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your essay's coherence by making smoother transitions between paragraphs. Consider using bridging sentences that guide the reader from one idea to the next, providing a more fluid reading experience.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument more equally, and then clearly explaining why you prefer one over the other.
coherence and cohesion
Support your main points with more specific, real-life examples and evidence. While you mentioned movies like "Twelve Years a Slave" and educational games, providing additional examples, statistics, or studies can strengthen your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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