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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour
It is widely argued that
children
 at an early age ought to learn the distinctions between right and wrong.
Punishment
,
therefore
, could be enforced in terms of broadening the
children
’s horizons with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to right and wrong. I totally agree with the fact that both
parents
 and teachers ought to consider
punishment
 worthwhile
due to
 its considerable benefits yield in. In
this
 essay, I will defend my perspective and highlight different types of
punishment
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
 be enforced to new generations.
To begin
 with, I hold the view that those who have been punished not physically at an early age in some circumstances would gain valuable experience and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not repeat their mistakes in the future.
This
 means that these
children
 will pass on their experience and knowledge to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generations.
This
 can prevent from having spoiled
children
 in society. In the
last
 decades ago,
parents
 tend to punish their
children
 more often which leads to mature
children
.
Although
 I personally believe that
parents
 and teachers should establish a good rapport with new generations at
first,
there are several approaches to
punish
Wrong verb form
punishing
show examples
children
 and
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 them the differences between right and wrong.
Parents
 could limit
children
’s break time
while
 they are watching cartoons and remind them it is because of their mistakes.
Children
also
 should not be allowed to spend ample time with their peers on weekends and stay home and do their homework
instead
. All things considered,
although
 corporal
punishment
 is not acceptable
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can harm
self-esteem
Add an article
the self-esteem
show examples
 of
children
,
parents
 and teachers ought to implement other types of
punishment
,
such
 as limiting
children
’s break time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and increasing their homework which could be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
effective ways of teaching students.
Submitted by alperenyakut on

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Task Achievement
Clarify your stance more explicitly in the introduction to immediately address the essay's statements. While your position is evident, directly stating whether you support punishment as a means to teach right from wrong would add clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance your essay's readability and flow. Additionally, aim to use conjunctions and transitional phrases more effectively to link ideas and paragraphs cohesively.
Task Achievement
Integrate more specific examples and evidence to substantiate your arguments. This could involve citing relevant studies, hypothetical scenarios, or anecdotal evidence that directly supports your views on punishment and its effectiveness.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all subsequent sentences directly support this idea. This will help in developing a coherent argument throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
What to do next:
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