Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.
Several
people
consider that women
should possess equal opportunity
similar to men to Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
work
or excel in their careers. While
other communities think a girl's role ought to be limited for
taking care of the house and Change preposition
to
children
. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument as well as
my perspective in the subsequent paragraph, and I support with
Change preposition
apply
the
Change the word
my
first
opinion.
On the first
hand, a majority of Correct word choice
other
people
think that every woman possesses a right to choose and determine her career. Presently, women
and men do not own differentiation, and they possess a chance to decide their choise
. Many Correct your spelling
choice
women
choose to work
because it is able to assist the needs of their family
because if they Fix the agreement mistake
families
work
, they are able to obtain salary
Correct article usage
a salary
so
that Correct word choice
apply
it
can decrease a troublesome economy in Correct pronoun usage
apply
her
environment.
Correct pronoun usage
their
On the other hand
, citizens believe that women
are the first
teacher for
their Change preposition
of
children
. In the future, a girl will become as
a mother in her new family because she is going to have a child, and a minority of Change preposition
apply
people
believe that in the family, mother
is Add an article
the mother
a mother
person
who will teach her Add an article
a person
the person
children
in
the Change preposition
for
first
time such
as how to speak, eat and take a bath. A mother is convienced
by her family to educate her Correct your spelling
convinced
children
. For example
, in the past, a majority of women
controlled Correct pronoun usage
their
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
family
in Fix the agreement mistake
families
Correct pronoun usage
their
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
home
, and the result was many Fix the agreement mistake
homes
Change preposition
of her
her
Change preposition
of her
children
Wrong verb form
became
becoming
Wrong verb form
became
Correct article usage
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
people
. Hence
, several people
consider
Verb problem
believe
women
should stay in her
Correct pronoun usage
their
home
to keep Fix the agreement mistake
homes
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
family
.
Fix the agreement mistake
families
To sum up
, both arguments carry strenght
and significance, and neither can be refuted Correct your spelling
strength
outhright
. Correct your spelling
outright
Nonetheless
, I personally subscribe to the fact that women
have a chance to work
because it can degenerate
the value of Verb problem
reduce
discriminations
, and Fix the agreement mistake
discrimination
women
are able to acquire income to fulfil her
needs.Correct pronoun usage
their
Submitted by fifi on
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Task Response
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Present a clear position throughout the response. Your essay slightly deviates from the core topic by discussing the importance of a mother in a child's life, rather than focusing on women's career opportunities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your essay's structure by clearly distinguishing your paragraphs and making sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you touch on the importance of women working, including specific examples of women excelling in their careers or how women's working contributes to society would strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.