IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

the table below information about sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries

#information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries
The table provided shows information about five European
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
sales
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Fairtrade-labelled
coffee
 and
bananas
 in
five
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
years
Correct your spelling
five-year
show examples
 period from 1999
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2004.
Overall
,
according to
 the
table
Add a comma
table,
show examples
UKs
Correct your spelling
UK
 citizens are the highest purchasers
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Fairtrad-labelled
coffee
 than other countries.
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Switzerland people prefer to spend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 money on Fairtrade-labelled
bananas
. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
coffee
sales
, UK
sales
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 increased drameticly from 1.5
million
 to 20
million
throghout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the given period, despite
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact in 1999 the
domenat
Correct your spelling
dominant
 country was Switzerland at 3
million
.
Moreover
, it
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
doubled to 6
million
.
In contrast
, the other three
regoins
Correct your spelling
regions
 have experienced slight growth. Switzerland
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to consume more
bananas
 in 2004
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
sales
 accounted for 47
million
. Unlike the
sales
 of Fairtrad-labelled
coffee
 for Sweden and Denmark
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased,
bananas
sales
 have dropped from 1.8 to 1
millilon
Correct your spelling
million
 and from 2 to 0.9
million
recpectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Submitted by zx00154 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should clearly state what the essay will discuss, while the conclusion should summarize the main points made.
sentence structure
Work on varying your sentence structures to create a more engaging and readable essay. This includes using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
content depth
To further improve your task achievement score, try to provide a more detailed comparison and analysis of the data presented. This could involve discussing trends, changes over time, and possible reasons for these changes.
grammar and spelling
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the readability of your writing. Consider using writing aids or having someone review your work before submission.
transitions and linking
To enhance coherence, use transitional phrases to more effectively connect your ideas and paragraphs. This helps to guide the reader through your essay in a logical manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: