It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

it is generally known that certain individuals are gifted with inherited abilities in fields
such
as music and
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
while
orthes
Correct your spelling
others
other
are not.
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
,
this
idea challenged
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that any child could learn to be good at music or
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
.
Job
satisfaction
plays an important role in workers’ well-being. I believe,
to
Correct word choice
that to
show examples
feel satisfied at
work
, a person needs to do what they love and
also
make a positive impact on other people’s lives. Sadly, it is totally unrealistic to expect
job
satisfaction
for all workers. A key factor in
job
satisfaction
is whether a person’s
job
coincides with their passion. When people are pursuing careers they love, they always look forward to going to
work
in the morning rather than living for the weekend. They tend to view difficult tasks as opportunities to learn and develop rather than as sources of stress.
This
can be best illustrated by scientists who
work
long hours and encounter countless failures in their research yet still find
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
in their
work
.
Job
satisfaction
can
also
be affected by the impact you have on other people’s lives. Take software engineers. The products they build may be used by people all over the world, making people’s lives better in some way, perhaps easier or more productive. How exciting! Unfortunately, it is completely impossible for all workers to have a satisfying
job
.
This
is because many of them refuse to change. They would rather stay in a
job
they hate than put in the effort to reskill to get a better one. They would expect their employers to raise their pay and improve their working conditions but do nothing to become more valuable employees. All they could get is low-
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your essay strictly adheres to the given topic. Your response deviated significantly from the core question about talents in sports and music, veering into job satisfaction. Stick to the topic for a higher score.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs that directly address the essay question, and a conclusion. Your essay lacks a clear conclusion and does not have a coherent structure relating to the original topic.
task achievement
Each paragraph should focus on one main idea related to the question. Use examples and explanations to support your arguments. Your response touched on unrelated topics without providing specific examples related to talents in sports or music.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas with appropriate transitions, and organize your paragraphs clearly. Your essay structure seemed fragmented, affecting the clarity and flow of information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate talent
  • Nurture
  • Prodigy
  • Proficiency
  • Deliberate practice
  • Physiological factors
  • Grit
  • Perseverance
  • Cultural norms
  • Structured training
  • Physical predisposition
  • Natural aptitude
  • Dedicated training
  • Societal influence
  • Passion
  • Genetic endowment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Expertise
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Mastery
  • Cognitive abilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: