Some people think that men and women have differen qualities, therefore cetain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
between
Change preposition
apply
males
and females have different quaities
, hat is why there are Correct your spelling
qualities
jobs
suit
for each other. From Correct your spelling
suitable
perspective
, I disagree with Correct determiner usage
this perspective
this
argument because of the
equality.
In Correct article usage
apply
ancient
era, there are sex discrimination. It Add an article
the ancient
is
Verb problem
apply
mean
that Replace the word
means
women
are weaker
sex, so they Add an article
the weaker
could not
do Wrong verb form
cannot
jobs
which are assumpted suitable for men
. However
, in this
era, women
can do all the jobs
that males
can do, even more effective
and beyond to Change the word
effectively
men
. A good example of this
is that in some families, women
work in offices and men
do the housework.
On the other hand
, many people believe thatmen
and Correct your spelling
that men
women
should do he
suitable work. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Due to
the assumption that females are weaker that
Correct word choice
than
males
, they cannot do some heavy jobs
such
as building o working outdoor
and Replace the word
outdoors
males
will never do the chores. It is true that there is
no differences between Change the verb form
are
two
sexes in working effect because it depends on their abilities and Correct article usage
the two
professional
.
Replace the word
professionalism
To sum up
, separate jobs
for men
and women
is lack
of equality, because it depends on Correct article usage
a lack
abilities
and majors of each other to find Correct article usage
the abilities
their
suitable Correct pronoun usage
apply
jobs
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Task Achievement
Focus on clearly outlining your main points in both the introduction and the conclusion. Make sure there is a clear statement of your position regarding the essay prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical structure of your essay. Aim for a clearer progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next. This can be achieved through the use of more explicit connective words or phrases that signal the relationship between ideas.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your main points by supporting them with more specific, concrete examples. This not only adds depth to your argument but also demonstrates a broader understanding of the topic being discussed.
General Advice
Double-check your essay for typographical and grammatical errors. These mistakes can distract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Moreover, consider splitting longer sentences into shorter, more concise ones for better readability.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite