IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that men and woman have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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Introduction
In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era, there are a few
people
Use synonyms
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
Use synonyms
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
show examples
 that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 have a lot of
differant
Correct your spelling
different
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that main
jobs
Use synonyms
 are
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and other
jobs
Use synonyms
 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 writer will show you the disagree
Change preposition
with
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
opinion
Use synonyms
 and give you the best example for sure.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main reason that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
opinion
Use synonyms
 is that each person
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own talent for
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 suitable
jobs
Use synonyms
 and it not necessary is
that
Change preposition
for
show examples
 boys or girls. If
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
 really good at that
Use synonyms
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 should let them do that.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 and women
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
got
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the same talent and qualities so when
people
Use synonyms
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 between
men
Use synonyms
 and women for the
jobs
Use synonyms
, they should be more careful about the experience they gain.
Body paragraph 2
But
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some how
Correct your spelling
somehow
show examples
, a few
people
Use synonyms
keep
Verb problem
hold
show examples
Use synonyms
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
 that
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 should prevent
men
Use synonyms
 or women to certain
Use synonyms
thier
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
. It can be true in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 just because of
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 culture.
For example
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
we can
observed
Wrong verb form
observe
show examples
 that some
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 close to
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 a weightlifter and some
close
Add a missing verb
are close
show examples
 to
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in forest
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
both of
these
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are mainly for
men
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there still
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a different qualities
Correct the article-noun agreement
a different quality
different qualities
show examples
 between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 but certain
jobs
Use synonyms
 can be suitable for any gender
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on their
directions
Fix the agreement mistake
direction
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it should have been
showed
Change the verb form
showing
shown
show examples
 that many other
jobs
Use synonyms
 require
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 just as much as
men
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear stance on the topic. You should briefly outline your main arguments to preview the essay’s structure.
Body paragraph development
Develop each of your body paragraphs with a single main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence. This will make your argumentation stronger and more persuasive.
Language clarity
Work on the clarity of your ideas by using simple, precise language. Avoid using phrases or words that are vague or incorrect in the context.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using transition words between sentences and paragraphs. This will help the reader understand the progression of your arguments.
Conclusion
End your essay with a conclusion that summarizes the main points of your argument and reiterates your stance on the issue. Make sure it is clearly distinct from the introduction.
Grammar and accuracy
Proofread your work to correct grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Clear and correct language use significantly contributes to the overall effectiveness of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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