Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women.

some people believe that
men
and
women
are only suitable for specific jobs based on their different
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
. Personally, I completely agree with that
Correct your spelling
point
poin
Correct your spelling
point
of view and
this
article will give reasons to support my point of view
First,
women
are often called the " weaker sex "
due to
their physical and mental conditions.
Therefore
, some jobs
such
as receptionist and secretary
re
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
often reserved for
women
.
On the contrary
,
men
find
Wrong verb form
are found
show examples
to be stronger than
women
, which is why stocks, construction
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
, and factory workers are more popular with
men
.
In addition
,
due to
different interests between
men
and
women
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
will rely on different factors to find a job.
For example
, the most common things
women
are interested in are beauty and fashion.
Therefore
, the
maajority
Correct your spelling
majority
of beauty and fashion
exoerts
Correct your spelling
experts
are
men
. Meanwhile,
men
are curious to explore new or dangerous things so some of them become explorers or technicians. In short,
men
and
women
will have certain jobs that suit their strengths
due to
physical differences and interests.
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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt. While you've stated your agreement with the idea that certain jobs are better suited for men or women, expanding your discussion to consider counterarguments or broader implications could provide a more balanced and nuanced perspective. Also, try to provide more varied and specific examples to illustrate your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better Coherence and Cohesion, focus on improving the overall flow and connection between your ideas. While your essay has an identifiable structure, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Using transitional phrases can help articulate the relationship between your ideas more clearly. Consider revisiting sentence structure variety to enhance readability.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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