IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. TO what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
There is a plausibility
many
Correct pronoun usage
that many
show examples
jobs
 that suitable for men or women
whereas
this
 phenomenon would not be the same with
others gender
Fix the agreement mistake
other genders
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due to
 the different
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
qualities.
This
 writer agrees with
this
 statement and will discuss
throughout
Correct pronoun usage
it throughout
show examples
 the essay.
Firstly
, there is no doubt that
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
choosing
Replace the word
choices
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demands
Correct subject-verb agreement
demand
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humanities and characteristics. Men have abilities to follow
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 and self-control nicely, so that the kind of
jobs
 that need to
create
Wrong verb form
be created
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 or
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
 formulas which is chefs or maybe engineers. Oppositely, women are careful and industrial that why they can
multi-tasking
Correct your spelling
multi-task
show examples
 and work well with calculating
such
 as
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
jobs
 like accountants or managers. Easily to see that fields are split out between two genders. Another thing that must be noticed is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
jobs difference
Fix the agreement mistake
job differences
show examples
 related to physical base. The muscle and powerful body of the men made them suitable not only for blue but
also
 white-collar
working
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workers
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 suffering from stressful environments and working nightshifts. Honestly, women’s constitutions are usually fit and flexible helping them with standing
on
Change preposition
in
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 beauty industries or
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 and
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
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. There was a little
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exception in many conditions but it is always
Correct article usage
a rights
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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 in my
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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. To consume, there are many split
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
jobs
 between two groups of gender because of the mental and physical differences.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
show examples
this
 statement is not totally correct but there is still the
existent
Replace the word
existence
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 of it around the world.
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the overall coherence, ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Between paragraphs, use linking words to show the relationship between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly with specific examples and explanations. This will help strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses the question asked. It's important to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and then elaborate on it throughout the essay with supporting reasons and examples.
Language Use
Use a wider range of vocabulary and grammar structures to express your ideas more precisely and to demonstrate your language proficiency. Avoid repetitive structures and aim for variety in your sentence construction.
Language Use
Check your essay for grammatical errors and typos. Presenting your ideas in clear, correct English will boost your score across all criteria of the IELTS Writing test.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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