IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT MEN AND WOMEN HAVE DIFFERENCE QUALITIES, THEREFORE CERTAIN JOBS ARE SUITABLE FOR MEN AND OTHERS FOR WOMEN. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

It is often said that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 have distance
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 qualities,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 one who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 standard should get a better job than
women
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 writer totally disagrees and
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 point out the reason below. First things
first,
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 were supposed that they
were
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 very
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 and versatile. They can do a lot of work at the same time without
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
. They
also
Linking Words
 know how to deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems
calmnessly
Correct your spelling
calmly
. Unlike
men
Use synonyms
, they are not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dominated by their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 and always know how to control
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Men
Use synonyms
 sometimes
loses
Change the verb form
lose
show examples
 their temper when everything
deviate
Change the verb form
deviates
show examples
 from their
calculated
Replace the word
calculation
show examples
, they always want to find better
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 without thinking as soon as better, eventually they
receive failure
Verb problem
fail
show examples
 on their own,
although
Linking Words
 there are not
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same situation,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is one thing to prove that female always good at emotional control, and it enough to break stereotypes about
women
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, sex discrimination now is the past and nowadays, people always prominence gender roles, not only
men
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 can contribute what they have to
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
, and
emloyers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
 should have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 perspective on
women
Use synonyms
, overlook the
different
Replace the word
differences
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
qualitis
Correct your spelling
qualities
,
men
Use synonyms
 and
wome
Correct your spelling
women
 are equalled in
humanly
Change the adverb
human
show examples
 side.
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
show examples
 in general should be treated as same as
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
,
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 worth
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 regarded well, so that they can show their own talent.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are not important if people only look at
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
. As
this
Linking Words
writer
Change noun form
writer's
show examples
 viewpoint and the reasons were pointed out above,
women
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important part of
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
, they
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 worth to contribute and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 their value.

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task achievement
Work on clarifying your thesis statement in the introduction. Make sure it directly addresses the essay question and clearly states your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Improve your essay by following a clear logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be followed by supporting sentences.
task achievement
Focus on strengthening your argument by providing more precise and relevant examples. This will make your essay more persuasive and align with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should set up the topic and your viewpoint, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
To maximize coherence, ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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