Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and dive your own opinion.
Recently there has been
fierce
debate Add an article
a fierce
the fierce
between
Change preposition
among
parents
who think, whether a child
should learn how to behave in good manners in society, in educational centers
or by Change the spelling
centres
parents
themselves. Although
both
may have their logical reasons, I believe that school
should take Fix the agreement mistake
schools
this
burden on its shoulder
.
On the one hand, there are Fix the agreement mistake
their shoulders
people
who claim due to
complexity
of Correct article usage
the complexity
this
contemporary world and existing competent teachers, school
is the place infants
should learn how to treat Rephrase
where infants
people
in the community. Many people
assume that there is too much information to be told to a child
these days, meanwhile
pupils should sudden by Add a comma
meanwhile,
sudden
learn skills by their touters throughout the primary education years. Change the word
suddenly
For example
, regarding Correct article usage
the school
school
as a small society with dozens of members, gives teachers the opportunity to conduct practices similar to a Correct article usage
the school
Add a hyphen
bigger-scale
bigger scale
community.
Add a hyphen
bigger-scale
On the other hand
, some parents
argue with the notion mentioned above and assert that parents
are the best ideals for their infants in cases of cultural backgrounds and religion. They believe a child
should grow up learning the values of his own family and define the word good, as his parents
do. For example
, residents of certain
Add an article
a certain
village
in England shake Fix the agreement mistake
villages
hand
with Fix the agreement mistake
hands
any
strangers in the street, Correct quantifier usage
apply
however
Add a comma
however,
this
act might not be taught in schools.
Putting aside these arguments, I potently insist on the fact that due to
hectic
lifestyle that many Correct article usage
the hectic
people
have these days, major
proportion of Add an article
a major
the major
the
Correct article usage
apply
child rearing
should Add a hyphen
child-rearing
be relied
on schools. There Change to the active voice
rely
have relied
are
Change the verb form
is
huge
Change the article
a huge
the huge
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
number
of families Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
Correct word choice
where
that
Correct word choice
where
both
parents
work, other wise
they can not provide Correct your spelling
otherwise
Change preposition
for themselves
themselves
financially. Change preposition
for themselves
Therefore
, being responsible in
fostering a Change preposition
for
child
and teaching the
sociable values is a daunting task that because of time deficiency Correct article usage
apply
parents
are not able to deal with. Adding, long hours of traffic on way
home reduces the time that Correct article usage
the way
both
parents
are at
the presence of their Change preposition
in
child
. So, parents
can only nurture the child
.
To recapitulate, both
parties have good reasons to mention ,yet according to
business and long hours of work I would rather choose the idea in which school
is responsible in
making a Change preposition
for
child
comprehend of
his acts toward other Change preposition
apply
people
in society.Submitted by erfanamouie on
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task achievement
Be sure to directly address the task prompt. This essay discusses the respective roles of schools and parents in socializing children, but clear, direct statement of your own opinion could be more effectively integrated throughout the essay, not only in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'in addition to' can help improve the flow of your argument and make it easier for the reader to follow your thought process.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific, real-world examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mention an example involving residents of a village in England, more detailed examples could provide stronger support for your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.