IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Whether or not certain
appointment
Fix the agreement mistake
appointments
show examples
 are suitable for
men
Use synonyms
 but not for
women
Use synonyms
 is a very controversial point.
This
Linking Words
 writer's opinion is that some physical requirements and specific gender abilities can prevent
women
Use synonyms
 from doing some
appointment
Fix the agreement mistake
appointments
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are some
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 that heavily rely on physical capacities that most females are not qualified enough
, and
Change preposition
for, and
show examples
 because
women
Use synonyms
's natural bodies are not as strong as
men
Use synonyms
's, it makes them do heavy jobs less effectively. It is true that
women
Use synonyms
 can get better physical health through training but still, their natural bodies can not catch up with
men
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the adherents have their own analogy. Primarily, physical differences and the amount of danger and carefulness a job needs.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is wise to explore that Some roles need necessary capacities like patience and precision
for instance
Linking Words
 raising a child is one of the most complex Full-Time jobs in the world.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least in scientific research and by knowing the hormones each human body produces and wants, is easy to say our body can do anything but some work suits better on one sex better.
To conclude
Linking Words
, despite the fact that some may disagree with the given issue, I personally agree with it
due to
Linking Words
 progress and improvement. mankind needs a precisionist program and each sex should do things that they were born with advantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should logically follow the next to maintain coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs more logically. Present your main point at the beginning of each paragraph followed by examples or reasons.
Task Achievement
Include a wider variety of specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world examples or statistics can strengthen your position.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand upon your main ideas. Make sure each paragraph presents a clear and distinct idea related to the question.
Task Achievement
Pay attention to the prompt and ensure your response fully answers the question asked. Cover all aspects to avoid missing key points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
What to do next:
Look at other essays: