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Band 3.5

Some people think that men anh women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #anh #women #qualities #jobs
Each person will have a
differrent
Correct your spelling
different
 quality, so there will be
jobs
 that are more suitable for
men
 and there will
also
 be
jobs
 that are more suitable for
women
. Personally, I do not agree with the point of view. Every people can follow their dream
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
,
irrepective
Correct your spelling
irrespective
 of gender. Nowadays in
mothern
Correct your spelling
mother
 society, both
men
 and
women
 can learn with similar education and
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to develop.
Moreover
, many places rely on certification and the ability to find employees. In today's society, the idea that certain works are more suitable for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 based on qualities is outdated. Both
men
 and
women
 possess a diverse range of skills talents and capabilities, which makes
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 equally capable of succeeding in any profession they choose to pursue.
However
, there will be some people who will have the opposite opinion. For explain, in
jobs
 that require physical strength,
women
 will not be able to keep up with
men
, and in
jobs
 that require care and patience,
women
 with have an advantage.
This
 may be true, but many studies now show that when both genders work together, it creates
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 diverse environment. In conclusion, people of any gender can excel in many
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on their skills, qualifications, and interests. Gender should not limit one's career choices or opportunities.

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to clearly state your main argument in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for stronger coherence.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to enhance clarity and argumentation depth.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better readability.
task achievement
Consider introducing a counterargument more clearly and refuting it to strengthen your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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